Monday, September 7, 2009

PR S6 Ep3 Part III: Is there something in the water?

Runway Day!

We finally see a smidge of Logan and Chris getting along and being happy with their partnership. UA, on the other hand, is having to do everything for his team. His green neoprene, he worries, is looking like "a ball of lettuce" so he decides to do some hand-dyeing. Tim is concerned that UA will be disqualified for not having his looks finished. UA is feeling like the whole situation is really unfair -- he's doing everything because Togwida can't/won't be focused and work and pull his weight. Tim advises UA to save himself and make sure both models are ready.

Macy's, Garnier, L'Oreal, models, yadda. Let's get to the runway!

Still no Kors. Where'd he go? However, Max Azria is sitting in instead! This week's actress-with-a-clothing-line judge is Rachel Bilson.

Up first, we've got Q and Epperson's looks. The dress's removable panel seems to have been sewn in; it looks a little bulky the way it's done, I don't like how it's bunchy in the back and open in the front, and look! There's the titscrepancy that Epperson was warning Q about. Their second look is... well, it's a total turd. TLo called it 'a fart in clothing form' and that pretty much says it! There's a bronze bathing suit with a full cut at the thighs, but it leaves the model's buttcheeks hanging out in the most unattractive way. It's saying something, too, that the outfit makes the model's stomach look big. Apparently, to Ep and Q 'avant garde' means you take a shitload of neon chiffon and just bunch it up around the neck for no reason.

Next, Johnny and Irina show us a really cute outfit with a structured short skirt, a long-sleeved low-backed sheerish top, and macrame-backed bathing suit. The knotwork is pretty sloppy and amateurish, but it's an interesting attempt. Their second look, on the other hand, is another turd-with-a-ruffle. A Truffle! They used weaving in the bodice to tie it to the other look, but it's not avant garde and not attractive. The model, Emarie, attempts the Couture-Hunch but it can't make the dress any less grody.

Togwida and UA's work is next. The beach dress is quite pretty, with beautiful fabric in muted beachy tones, but it's not very surfer, and not very practical. Apparently there's a bathing suit, but we can't see it at all. The second look is... huh? UA says this look truly embodies him as a designer. It's folded and bunchy and it looks like the model spilled something on herself. That's his emblematic look?? I don't get it at all. Suede's car-parts outfit was better than this.

We finally get to see what Shirin and Carol have been up to. What they've been up to is a red bikini with a long, flowing printed wrap. It's beautiful, though the fabric of the wrap strikes me as too dark for something California-inspired. Their 'avant garde' gown is yet another that's not actually avant garde - it's dramatic, but nothing we haven't seen before. The fabric looks like a gorgeous deep teal, and there are ruffles and a high collar and a train and it's all very large.

Althea and Louise show us an adorable little dark red dress with a black-and-white bikini beneath. The cup area is weird, though - instead of looking like the bikini top is supposed to be peeking over, it looks more like the dress is too big and is falling down. Nice idea, though. Their avant garde dress is still not avant garde, but again, it's creative and dramatic, with all sorts of zippers and glitter on a corset-style bodice and a bigass ruffled skirt.

Are we almost out of our misery yet? Almost. Nicolas and Gordana are up next. Their first look, the bathing suit with the pants, is maybe the third-least-worst look. The pants are too long and flappy, and the cut of the bathing suit is a mite unflattering, but overall I kinda like it. When I first saw their avant garde look, I liked the organza on the top, then looked down and WHAT. THE. HELL. Pale blue lace chaps, fer chrissakes, over a glittery silver miniskirt. It's really, really tacky.

Finally, mercifully, our last team: Logan and Christopher. Oh dear, the first outfit... The fabric of the pants makes it look like the model had a very terrible accident in them. There's a loose v-neck top with a belt, with the bikini top showing. It's okay, I guess, compared to some of the other turds that have just been walked across my screen. The second look is BWAHAHAHA I hate it and love it at the same time. Again, 'avant garde' has been interpreted as 'make it HUGE.' There's an enormous layered pouf of a skirt that looks all grotty and dirty, and a high, asymmetrical zippered collar on the white top. It's sort of Dumpster-from-the-80's. Chris has done some good work so far, but this one is a big miss.

Ugh, I need to go have a drink to get over having to look at all that fug again. Next time: Judging and Auf-ing!

1 comment:

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