Friday, October 24, 2008
So, I fell completely behind on recapping Project Runway. Big FAIL 4 me! All I can say is, the right person won, and Kenley, you are such a freaking bitch. Woo!
I need to catch up on Project Rungay, DListed - everyone! Everything's been on hold, and on the Internet, five weeks might as well be five years.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
As if Leanne would change her model!
"Special Guests!" Oooh, la la, please let one of them be Christian!
WHEEE, it is! However, it looks like there are going to be a bunch of messes up on that runway, as well as a lot of designers bitching. Kenley is arguing with Nina! And we've got another fabric-pooping model. Ruh-roh! This is either going to be awesome, or horrible.
Project Rungay has done another excellent interview with Stella, in which she reveals that her father died the day her auf'ing aired. We're sorry, Stella. Our thoughts are with you and your family.
The interview is, like the other one, an excellent read, and the more I learn about this woman the more she just fucking rawks. She's got a really interesting history - go read!
Also, we learn that some of the Tim snarkery may have been, like the Laura/Keith snarkery, a product of editing. The editors are starting to piss me off this season, with creating fights where there aren't any. If you have to go that far to make shit up, you either cast the wrong people or you're giving out shitty challenges. I mean, you made me hand out a b-slap to Tim Gunn, for fuck's sake. Not okay! Stop making nice people look like bitches and think up better challenges.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Continuing with the garments!
Kenley's dress, despite the totally barfy print, came out really well:
She totally played it safe by making just the dress - I really would have loved to have seen a coat with this. But, all things considered, it's beautifully-made and well-fitted. I love the matching trim. She only had a yard and a half of that barfy fabric - that's what I call cutting well!
And lastly, Leathuh Stella:
Aw, crap. This isn't made well. Those pants needed to be skinny-skinny, and the fit up top doesn't work (though I like the fabrics she used). The cape was just jacked-up. Still, I didn't think it was half as bad as the judges did. You're telling me this was worse than Blayne's fucking polka-dot pantaloons and Suede's craft-kid vest?
Bah, getting ahead of myself. So, the judges do their thing, and the safe designers are: Terri, Jerrell, and Blayne, leaving Korto, Joe, Kenley, Leanne, Stella and Suede on the runway. Let's start the ripping!
Korto is safe! Her vision was "freedom," and her choice of cut and colors carried it well. Fern calls the print "captivating." It is pretty damn cool. Just, that yucky sweater! Anyway, good job Korto!
Now for the wiener: It's Leanne! DvF loves that there's "a lot of good design" in the look. Fern is pleasantly surprised by the back ruffling. Heidi notes how much thought Leanne put into the construction. Hooray for Leanne! She wanted to win with immunity and she did.
Kenley thinks she "nailed" THE dress for the collection, and asks DvF if she agrees. Heidi answers by way of trashing Kenster's dress as too ordinary and only one piece. Hee hee hee. But! Then DvF looks over at Heidi and says she likes the dress. Fern and Kors follow up with praise. Don't you guys know Heidi is the producer? You don't make the producer look like a dumbass! Unless you're DvF, and then you can do whatever you want. Kenley and the barf print are both safe.
Suede seriously thinks his look is "sexy." Uh, Suede? I know you claim you're bisexual, but if you think a woman looks "sexy" in that getup, you're a deluded gay man, OK? But even though the judges hate the ugly, unflattering design, Suede is safe, to third-person us some more next week.
That leaves two designers in the bottom: Joe and Stella. Why am I not looking at Blayne and Suede up there? Jesus.
The judges rip Joe for his disastrously-constructed garment - the hem of which DvF pronounces "unacceptable." They also hate the open back - DvF notes you shouldn't turn around in it. Kors kindly says it's "not cohesive."
DvF points out that Stella's cape silhouette is from the wrong era. Heidi says that Stella gave them three pieces and did none of them well. Maybe not, but none of the three were as bad as a single one of Joe's pieces. The judges disagree, and Stella is OUT.
Stella seems slightly relieved, and says her ego was too big for the place, anyway. Hee. She notes that she has learned and grown from the experience. Tim is actually glad to tell Stella to go pack up, and makes no secret of it. I want to smack him. I do make a barfy face when they both do that fakey-kissy "I adore you and love you" thing - Stella, why play into that crap?
What bullshit. Is Stella the best designer on the show? No. Should she go to Bryant Park? I don't think so. However, for her to get sent home before Blayne or Suede, and for her outfit to be axed over Joe's fugly, half-finished mess, is just another example of producer bullshittery. And Tim was just so mean to Stella, as if she's so far beneath him. Luckily, she's a big girl and will do just fine without PR. Sorry to see you go, Stella - it was tremendous fun having you in our living room for eight weeks!
And with that recap done, I can finally go get caught up on all this week's posts at Project Rungay and Blogging Project Runway! I've been jonesing but I don't read anything PR until I've finished the recap. Yay!
Runway Day! The guest judge, of course, is Diane von Furstenberg. Filling in for Nina, who is probably still trying to slip Slowey a mickey, is the fab Fern Mallis, who is wearing some sort of button necklace that I WANT.
First up, Sloppy Joe's mandarin monstrosity:
I think he was shooting for asymmetrical closures on the top, but it just looks like they're uneven. The outfit has a really ugly open back that shows that the back seam of the belt is uneven, as well as the seam of the skirt. The hooded capelet looks slack, sad and shiny-cheap. This is what he calls "polished?" Oh, dear. I think it says something that in the above photo, the model is hiding most of the outfit.
Luckily, Karalyn saves us all from retinal suicide by walking Leanne's incredible design:
I wasn't able to get a screencap of it, but the feature of this dress was an unexpected cascade of ruffles down the back. A risk to use a solid fabric, but she knocked it out of the park. The shape of the coat is divine and the whole thing was beautifully constructed. If this girl doesn't make it to Bryant Park, I'm gonna be pissed.
I just realized something about Terri - she has a great eye and makes impeccable trousers and blazers, but the fabrics and cuts she chooses for tops are UGLY. I first noticed in the Olympic challenge, and it's kind of been a theme - many of her outfits, I love except for the shirt she makes for it. This week's outfit was no exception, with a fireworks pattern (cleverly chosen, though, for the reference to China!). Well, there was one exception: WTF in Jesus' Friday Wig is going on in the crotch of these pants?
Yikes. I think that model will not be including this appealing shot in her portfolio. That coat is awesome - the lapel is a little much for me, but it had a great swing on the runway and was very well-made.
Jerrell: I'm... I don't even know what to say about this fucking thing:
Jesus, it's another Men On Film hat. I just wanted to flick it off her head. So did she, I imagine.
This looks a lot less offensive in print than it did on the runway. The way the top moved, it was like the model was leaking gold fabric out of her abdomen. The hem on the skirt is totally uneven. The blue belt is just nonsensical. And sorry Jerrell, but your fetish for stupid hats is becoming grating.
And now for something completely different:
Korto put together a really lovely, sophisticated design that was VERY von Furstenburg, and then fucked it up by topping it with a bulky, dated, 80's-looking shrunken sweater with bell sleeves:
The judges loved the little sweater. It was actually well-made and might've looked great on something with a less-voluminous lower body line. I imagine a non-model looking pretty frumpified in this combo. The yellow burst of fabric, however, was a bold and clever move that really made an impact.
Blayne - Two words: Polka-dot pantaloons.
Okay, Suede actually "loves" his outfit. I don't understand, but here it is:
Look at that model. She's all like "I can't believe I have to try and make this jacked-up shit look good." I'm so disgusted that Suede's still on the show, honestly. He has no idea how to fit clothes on a woman's body. The model could start a tent community under that skirt, and it's not a good look. The vest is not only ugly and poorly made, it's incongruous. This earns an exasperated headshake from us here at The Boogie House.
NEXT: The last two designs walk, and I do some grumbling!
Friday, September 5, 2008
... I last left our rabid, cutthroat designers as Tim prepares to do his walkthroughs. He starts with Suede who, being in love with camouflage or totally feeling it or completely obsessed with it, pick a hyperbole, has chosen a vaguely camo-colored pattern to make one big ol' fugly-ass PTA-Mom dress. It's sleeveless and the bottom of it is huge, guaranteed to make even the model look like she's got some serious hips going on. He's also made an ugly and incoherent herringbone vest with a high popped collar. Tim's puzzled, and convinces Suede to re-think the bottom of the dress. I think he might consider staging a circus underneath it.
Leanne's making a beautiful deep-blue solid-color dress with a wonderful jacket that is still in its "sloppy" stage, but has huge potential. Joe has an orange mandarin-type top with a bright pink belt and black skirt, with a pretty fug-looking lined hooded shawl. It's looking pretty craft-project at this stage. Korto's got a print dress under which she's going to put bright canary-yellow fabric. Tim objects to the yellow showing at the shoulder straps, saying it looks like bra straps that escaped. Kenley is making a simple sihouette with a high neck and matching hem - it's really nicely done, and Tim "sees Shanghai," but there's some concern over her only doing one piece.
Stella is making a wool suit of vest and pants, with a cape. Tim is sooo ready to hate it. He asks Stella what she thought of last week's criticisms. Her response: they were BS, they were clueless and not open-minded, and, I quote, "I think the stylist with the oversized muumuu and the waistband didn't know any better." Tim quickly asides, "Sorry Rachel Zoe, we mean that only in the nicest way," and Stella shoots back - get this! - "No I don't, I really mean it!" Laughter from some other designers and much laughter here at home. You freaking go, Stella! God, how did you survive on this show so long with the whole saying-what-you-think thing?
Fast-forward to the next day, Runway Day!
After getting instructions from Tim to BlahBlahBlah the BlahBlah Product Wall et cetera, the real fun begins. Terri opines solemnly: "We're. So. Screwed." Nobody feels they have enough time to finish. Kenley is wearing the most inexplicable uggo top - it's like her hairanimals have begun breeding and are hanging out on her shoulders. People are snarking about other designers' clothing. Terri is making fantastic pants. Jerrell is perching one of those minature Boy Scout hats atop his model's hairdo. Uh-oh!
Joe feels his look is polished, SO polished, in fact, that it "might get lost in all the crap that's going down the runway." I'm looking at that mess, Sloppy Joe, and I think you might be getting farsighted over there. The outfit is puckery, has uneven seams, and is poorly fitted on his model. Leanne interviews that she is surprised he's still there. Me too, Leanimal, me too.
Next: The Runway Show!
Okay, let's just get it out of the way up front: the wrong designer was sent home, and Tim needs to take some Pamprin.
But first! Two days of adventure.
Morning at Atlas apartments, as the designers shake themselves awake and prepare for the next challenge - "real fabric," hopes Korto. Stella is trying to make coffee, and asks Terri whether she should do "one tablespoon or two," but she's holding a ladle. Terri remarks bitchily about how it's not hard to make coffee - jeez, she just asked you a question, Terri, and an important one, because there's a big huge difference between those two measurements. Stella decides she'll go strong, and ladles that shit on in there. Terri gets her b-slap when she sips her coffee and nearly falls over, pronouncing it "kick" with wide eyes. That's what you get for not answering a simple question, jerkface.
Heidi greets the designers (wearing godawful leggings), and we go through the usual want-to-switch-your-model?-no-OK-blahblah-losing-designer's-model-is-out. Then, a special guest is here to announce the challenge: it's Tim Gunn! Aww, he looks so cute up on that runway. He totters out, saying, "It's just little ol' me," and tells the designers they will be designing for a Fashion Legend.
Who ever could it be? Blayne immediately thinks of Mary-Kate Olsen. As a fashion legend. Eh? Legendary for dressing like a starving homeless person, maybe. But he then goes on to grace us with possibly the best string of consecutive words this season: "I want every challenge to involve Mary Kate. I want to marry Mary Kate. Who doesn't? Except Tim Gunn!"
I don't want to marry Mary Kate, Blayne.
They all head down to the Meatpacking District and find themselves in the office/studio of Diane von Furstenberg! She descends from a fucking palatial four-story staircase accompanied by this Love Boat-style music, like she just won Miss Universe, which she should win every year because she's so awesome. She floats to the bottom - I can't believe she doesn't wave like the Queen, she's so elegant - and shakes the designers' hands. It's almost surreal. In interview, Kenley is seriously overwhelmed and in tears over meeting DvF, in an I-haven't-slept-more-than-3-hours-in-30 kind of way.
So the designers will be creating a look to go with DvF's fall collection, which was inspired by Marlene Dietrich in A Foreign Affair. Diane tells them that the winner's look will be produced and sold exclusively to American Express cardmembers. "Thrilling!" chirps Tim, helpfully.
The designers get 15 minutes to pick fabrics from DvF's sample room to use for their creations (only ten yards total for each designer, so they don't get piggy about it). And what a sample room it is! Shelves upon shelves of bolts of amazing fabric, delicious prints - the designers are going apeshit, and Suede interviews that it's lucky Diane's not there to see all of them trashing her sample room in their rush to get what they want in the allotted time. Hey Suede - she just saw it.
Stella, who doesn't deal with bolts of fabric and has previously had trouble at Mood, is being a little whiny about not being strong/tall enough to get the fabrics she wants, but Tim is a total bitch to her! He dismissively tells her to move on to something else if she can't reach, and rolls his eyes. Tim made it clear in last weeks' Tim's Take that he thinks that Stella, well, sucks and shouldn't be there. That's fine if you think that, but you don't have to be a snot about it. She's actually sucked it up pretty well all season for someone who has never worked with bolts of fabric.
Tim finally calls time, obviously annoyed at the chaos - geez, he's a crankypants this week - and they all head back to the workroom, where they're given the usual "until midnight" to work. Each designer gets a look-book for DvF's collection. We see Leanne quietly, proudly pin her name on last week's winning garment. She interviews that while she's relieved to have immunity, she's not going to coast - she's in it to win again.
Joe notices there's lots of layering in DvF's collection, and all of the other designers think the same and design multiple pieces - except for Kenley, who's decided to make a dress. Not just a dress, but THE dress. She's picked a print that looks like someone puked on it, then someone else came along and got grossed out by it and puked on it again.
One by one, most of the designers make a bitchy insinuation about Kenley's single piece. She interviews that she'd rather spend 9 hours making one great thing, than 3 shoddy things. Hey, some people can turn out 3 amazing things in that amount of time - remember Christian? Whatever, she's focused and made up her mind, and is going with the Shanghai part of the theme.
The editors have decided that it's time to make everyone a bitch, apparently. The competitive stuff is really being played up. Joe and Blayne have the gall to rip on Terri's outfit, and Joe calls her a "one-trick-pony" because she always makes pants. Well, everyone else makes dresses, are you going to snipe at them for that? We also see Stella eating dinner with Leanne and Terri, and when they ask her what she's going to do, she's evasive. She interviews that she doesn't trust Terri and she doesn't think that what she's doing is any of Leanne's business. She doesn't like it when people ask questions and look at the other designers' things. Stella babe, these ladies are not looking to copy from you. Neither of them do the same kind of stuff you do.
The bitchitude carries over into the sewing area, and designers are interviewing about how competitive everyone is. More than once we hear the every-person-for-themselves thing. Producers: we GET it. They're all rabid and self-centered and will CUT YOU.
We get a weird silly interlude where Leanne is pretending to be a spy, and sneaks around the workroom. She's so cute. Joe looks at Kenley's dress and actually makes a barf face. Why so confident, Joe? God, I'm really starting to dislike this guy.
NEXT: The designers struggle to get their shit together. Terri: "We're so screwed!"
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I don't even know this woman and she could be a total horrid bitch for all I know, but I'm ready to pull a Chris Crocker over here.
She's dating Balthazar Getty, who apparently left his wife for her, or left his wife just before hooking up with her, or whatever. The point being that society always brands "the other woman" as a whore, a homewrecker, a slut. Meanwhile, the man? Not a whisper. Hell, he's a hero for scoring another chick, right? Getty might get shit for leaving a wife with four kids, but at the end of the day it's all Sienna's fault! He couldn't help it! She seduced him away with her evil wiles! He was bewitched! OMG BURN HER SHE'S A WITCH! (She turned me into a newt!)
Don't get me wrong - there's nothing we women love more than hating on a slut. I imagine there's some complex evolutionary psychology that goes into that. We might pretend to be above it, but we love it. And there are certainly women who earn scorn. But whatthefuck is with the Scarlett Letter-style shit that is going on here? Ever since Miller got together with Getty, the headlines have been shouting about what a horrible homewrecking heifer she is.
And then someone did this to her house:
(Tangent: That is one ugly mo'fo-ing house!)
Imagine coming out of your house and seeing that, while having a bunch of paps gathered around you snapping away.
Jesus H. Christ. So now, apparently, she is moving out of the country. I somehow doubt this is the sole reason, but it certainly must be a driving motive.
A quote from her mother:
"It's disgusting that she can not live in her own country. Now she's going to have to leave the country to get on with life. She can't live here now. Why is it that if a man leaves his wife the new woman gets all the shit? That doesn't happen the other way round."Ma Miller is right. The woman automatically gets all of the shit, regardless of whether there's maybe the possibility that, I dunno, there are two people involved. I've never understood the auto-hate for a woman who dates a married man. If Getty did cheat on his wife, how does that make Sienna a whore, exactly? I'm pretty sure that makes Getty the whore, given that he's the one who made marriage vows, but of course men are incapable of such low things, right? Women are evil temptresses who will lure your man away and they must be shamed! Publicly!
Images via Dlisted
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
I haven't done any writing in a really long time and find myself pretty rusty, so I've got wordage on the brain, and have been mulling over all the words that I love. Trying to remember roots gives me nightmares of my freshman English teacher, who continually mangled my name and made us spend three fucking months reading The Odyssey (Homer, I hate you). I did a quick search to see if I could find a way to stop hearing the context in Mrs. Faux-Frenchypants' voice, and found The Online Etymology Dictionary. Sweet! I immediately looked up "malapropism" because it's got a fun history:
1849, from Mrs. Malaprop, character in Sheridan's play "The Rivals" (1775), noted for her ridiculous misuse of large words (i.e. "contagious countries" for "contiguous countries"), her name coined from malapropos (adv.), 1668, a borrowing from Fr. mal à propos "inopportunely, inappropriately," lit. "badly for the purpose," from mal (see mal-) + proposer "propose."Heh, how very American that George Bush has never been referred to as "Mr. Malaprop."
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Michael K posted LaFontaine's memorably funny Geico commercial here. You'll be much missed, Don!
Who is responsible for the Mystery Dracula Cape? Is Kenley serious with the tears? Will Blayne ever understand the meaning of "legendary"? And most importantly, did Stella's coffee come out okay?
(Seriously - Terri, don't be a bitch; that shit's important. And I'm not just saying that because I'm out of coffee and have imaginary mugs of it dancing before my eyes.)
All will be answered tomorrow night when Diane von Fursternberg arrives!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
From swamppolitics.com (they've got the video as well):
'BLOOMINGTON, Minn. - Get this: Michael Moore, the filmmaker, had this to say about the onslaught of Hurricane Gustav on the eve of the Republican National Convention.
"I was just thinking, this Gustav is proof that there is a God in Heaven.'' Moore said with a chuckle in a televised interview.
"That it would actually be on its way to New Orleans for Day one of the Republican convention up in the twin cities at the top of the Mississippi River,'' Moore said, in an interview with MSMBC's Keith Olbermann, on Countdown.'
My jaw dropped reading this. This is exactly what Jerry Falwell said about Katrina, that New Orleans was being punished by God. And now Moore is saying the same thing from the other side? Wishing mass destruction on an already-devastated area to support your political views... this is okay, exactly how? Becoming your enemy does not defeat your enemy; it makes you a big ol' jerky hypocrite.
Well, he did catch himself long enough to say that, well, of course he doesn't actually want anyone to get hurt:
What a guy!
'Moore quickly sobered up and added: "Certainly, I hope nobody gets hurt. I hope everybody's taking cover....
"Let's hope things get better.'''
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Ferdalump from OhNoTheyDidn't put together this incredible photo list of Christian and Kermit looking like long-lost twins! Haaaaa. It just goes on and on! Click the link for more hilarity.
Thanks to Dlisted for posting this!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Personally, I was so excited to finally "meet" her parents, especially her mom, who she's been imitating for years.
I was going to put up the Supertrailer from VH1, but it's streaming media, which makes me want to throw things. So here's a teeny 1-minute peek at the first ep!
And this video of Liam's just kills me - "Purple Man: Revenge of the Cheerleader," which stars, well, Purple Man and the Cheerleader, also characters in Liam's videos:
Thursday, August 28, 2008
When this was first shown in muslin, it was looking promising - and even when Tim expressed hesitation, I was thinking "let StellaBella do her thang." But in making the decision to step outside the box and do something different, she lost who she is as a designer and turned out a totally incoherent outfit. I love the vest, hate the skirt, hate both of them worn together. Until now she's been doing a good job balancing her aesthetic with the demands of the challenges; this went too far over into not-Stella.
Terri's look is hot hot HOT!
Girl used all kinds of materials and turned out a well-crafted, wearable, and stylish look. You'd definitely have to be tall and slender enough to wear those pants, though. Once again, I don't know why Terri didn't get recognition for this. She's the Susan Lucci of Project Runway!
Blayne, oh, Blayne...
What in the whatthehell is going on with the fit up top? Eeek. And the skirt... sadly, as I could have told him if he'd had the psychic foresight to call me personally and ask, that skirt looked like a car-wash flapper-sheet thing on the runway. The very first second I saw it from a distance, I thought, "Oooh!" and then... "Ohhhh, oh no." It looked like it would be really annoying and heavy to wear, as well. I don't hate the pieces of mirror, or at least I wouldn't if the top actually fit.
And last but not least, Joe:
This immediately reminded me of his Olympics design; there's a similar sporty motif going on. This is really more of a uniform look, but I like it for what it is. He used the materials well, the logo is cute (brother likes logos, doesn't he?), and while it's a little too literal for my tastes, it's pretty funky.
Heidi calls off the list of "safe" designers: Terri (whaaat? Come ON, judges!), Suede, Joe and Kenley, leaving Jerrell, Blayne, Korto, Leanne, Stella and Keith onstage.
Some words for Jerrell's outfit: "amazing," "intricate," "interesting," "wearable." Duchess Kors pronounces the styling "over-the-top, but appropriate." Jerrell is in!
Laura points out the poor fit of Blayne's dress. Kors calls it "a car wash skirt." (Score one for me!). Zoe mentions more than once that she wishes the skirt had ended at the knee (which would have indeed helped). Heidi says - and I quote - that breaking a mirror is "seven years' no sex." Wow, those Germans are fucking hardcore, eh? Blayne is in, to suffer another tan-less week!
Laura is complimentary in a sort of non-commital way to Korto's coat. Zoe says she wants to walk out the door with it. You and me both, Rachel! Duchess calls it "restrained drama." Korto is in!
The judges all swoon, and rightly so, over Leanne's dress. Kors says things like "fabulous silhouette, interesting but chic," and notes how well it's crafted. Zoe is "blown away" and says she can see Leanne going straight to Paris with that dress. Wooo! Not only is Leanne in; she WINS!
That leaves the final two: Stella and Keith. Please don't let them send Stella home; this is a perfect learning experience for her as a way to find her boundaries as a designer. The judges don't have much to say except that they didn't understand it; the pieces didn't go together; Kors says it's "a little random." Unfortunately, he's not wrong.
However, Keith digs it for himself when he starts blahblahblahing the judges with excuses again. He complains about the criticism he received for last week's Sad Chicken dress, and Kors essentially tells him to suck it up, this is fashion and you have to have a thick skin. Laura tells him she saw "no concept, no ideas," and Keith tells her that she should see his other stuff. Yeah, Keith, I'm pretty sure every designer on the show ever has wished they could bail out of a bad garment by showing their portfolio, but if they could, there wouldn't be a freaking show. Your outfit sucked and was boring, and the judges agree, and Keith is OUT.
Sadly, he's really really upset about the auf-ing, literally in tears. He wanted a way to GTFO of Utah and had hoped this would be the way. Ah, that sucks. He says that this outfit that got him auf'ed "isn't me; it's not my aesthetic." That's an awful shame, but at the same time, most of this stuff isn't anyone's aesthetic - how well you do on this show depends on how well you can pull stuff out of your arse in a day and a half. Just because this show isn't for you, Keith, doesn't mean you can't still be successful at designing toilet-paper dresses for sad chickens. Aw, crap, I can't be mean to him now that he's cried, damn it! I hated his stupid clothes, though. Ah well, good luck, Keith, and see you at the Reunion!
Blayne manages to leave Atlas with nary a whisper of "licious." Is the nightmare finally over? We can only wait and see!
Back in the workroom, Tim does the Brand Placement Blahblahblah and sends in the models for their final fitting and to get them to hair & makeup. Everyone's freaking out trying to finish. Keith instructs his model to "watch the breathing" - not a good sign. Jerrell is having his model get a crazy futuristic unicorn 'do that looks awesome. Leanne is stuffing muslin under the structured bumps in her dress to keep them in place (smart move!).
Then - Drama! Keith had clearly instructed his model not to sit down in the dress, and she claims "they made me sit" - uh, yeah, right. If the hair person needed her at a certain level, they should have stood up on something, or had her kneel up on the floor. Well, she sat down, and she tore the seam in the front of the dress. I really feel bad for Keith here - he's so stressed by his near-elimination last week that he's already wound way up, and now with literally 5 minutes until the Runway, his dress is ripped and there isn't time to really fix it.
On to the Runway, where the gorgeous Laura Bennett, dressed in red, is filling in for Nina Garcia, who's off putting cyanide in Ann Slowey's chamomile tea or something. The actual Guest Judge is Rachel Zoe (pronounced "zoh," not "zoh-ee"), who I feel like I'm supposed to know, but I don't. She has a show called "The Rachel Zoe Project" on Bravo and I haven't even seen it! I'm such a bad fashion ho. Anyway, she's up for it and ends up being a great judge.
I scribbled my notes pretty furiously, so I might end up recapping the designs out of the order they walked. Ah, who gives a crap? Let's get to the clothing!
Jerrell's model walked first, in a very fitted, indeed futuristic-looking top-and-skirt design:
He used resin interior molding to trim the top. The skirt's a little too short imo, but it's a solid, chic, innovative look.
Keith - The only thing I wrote in my notes: "Boring!"
And it was. Sadly, even if the model hadn't ripped the skirt, this would have been a dud. His goal was to make an outfit that didn't look at all like it'd come from a car. Unfortunately, Keith, it looks kinda like Talbot's. Talbot's that an angry cat got to.
Korto's swing coat came out AMAZING!
I needn't have worried about how it initially looked on the model. It looked fantastic, not at all like anything made from seatbelts. Beautiful work, and innovative. That hem is a little huh, but what the hell, it's seatbelts.
Kenley made a skirt, top, and some sort of tutu-style peplum that she hand-decorated with a black marker. I can't decide whether I like it or hate it, actually.
Huh. I like the skirt, but that peplum thing is just weird.
Leanne - WOW indeed. This sort of dress isn't my style at all, but this is just fab:
I normally hate garments that give women bizarre bumpy shapes, but I can't deny the innovation and the impeccable workmanship. The detailing on the top is made from looped seatbelts, but you'd never know. The more I see of this girl, the more I like her ideas! She's come a long way from the Peter Pan Loopy Loops from the second ep.
Suede - the same. freaking. silhouette. Again.
But it's not a bad entry for this particular challenge. The top is a much better idea than the mirror-tiling mess he initially tried; he cut up a floor mat (tooootally wackadoodle, dude) and I like the way he did that, though it's a little raggedy-looking right at the top. The skirt is bright and fun and vibrant and moved well on the runway.
Next: The rest of the designs!
Photo via People Online
My homeboy Tim Gunn is on the record about Katie Holmes' tight-rolling. If anyone can get through to her, it's you, Tim!
“Katie Holmes has become so much more sophisticated in so many ways, but I think she’s in a dip right now. I can’t explain it... She ascended from this tomboyish waif look to an incredible sexy sophisticate. We realize how much style she’s capable of. I don’t get it.”
Neither do we, Tim, neither do we. I think "Guide to Style" needs to pay La Holmes a visit, non?
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
This week, the designers are greeted by Heidi on the runway wearing some sort of heinous ruffled referee-looking thing. Because the models weren't used - again - last week, Joe has his pick between Daniel's and Kelli's models, or can keep his own. He keeps his model. Heidi gives the designers a rooftop address to find out about their challenge, and tells them to hit the road.
Blayne de Soleil is certain that this challenge will be "exclusive... rooftop-style." Uh, okay? Korto wonders if they're going to someone's penthouse... Mariah Carey perhaps? Oh god I hope not. As it happens, their destination is the roof of a parking garage. They giggle like scared little kids in the elevator, until the doors open to reveal a line of Saturns (of course), and Tim.
Tim introduces Chris Webb, who is the Lead Color Designer for Saturn. He says that 85% of the materials used to make these Saturn Hybrids are recyclable, so the designers will be recycling Saturn materials to make an innovative dress. Each car is stuffed with materials used to make the cars, and each designer gets a crappy-looking cart - you know those "old lady" carts with two wheels you bring to the grocery store? - and about four seconds to madly scavenge materials from their chosen car. There are loads of seatbelts and bits of interior trim being chucked around. Terri has trouble moving her cart once it's full and piled with stuff. Suede, in interview, says he grabbed some floor mats for a top and that's "wackadoodle." That word is officially dead to me, Suede.
Back in the workroom, Tim scolds the designers for disappointing the judges in the last Innovation challenge - the grocery store challenge - and says he wants real innovation. The designers immediately start wrestling with the unfamiliar, unwieldy materials. Kenley smashes a headlight assembly on the floor to break the lamp out, and claps and giggles with delight when it breaks. Do I sense a hidden destructive streak in our Vintage Girl? Joe holds up a carburetor and asks if anyone wants to trade it for a headlight.
Jerrell feels very confident and is talking about a "futuristic bustier." Leanne is making some sort of crazy structured corset-bodice thingy. Stella decides that she doesn't want to do the expected "leathuh," that she wants to step outside the box and do something totally different, using seatbelts to make a tiered skirt. There's lots of hammering and ripping and grumbling around the workroom. Suede lets us know that "Suede has cuts, Suede has blisters... It's blood for fashion and I'm bleedin' it!" Oh god, someone just kill me. Then he launches into some story about his father giving him his uncle's Buick or some shit. Stella has a pointy leather hat with long sides and puts it on Blayne, who then does a Darth Vader impression. I have to admit, when Blayne's not being a douche he can be pretty adorable.
The models are sent in - and NOOOO, Shannone, Kenley's model, has dropped out of the competition, for reasons unstated. Shannone was the best model this season! Kenley, of course, takes it really hard, but she's kind of a bitch and kind of unprofessional to Germaine, the model brought back to replace Shannone. Yes, it's hours of extra work to re-fit a garment for a new model, but she makes Germaine feel like it's her fault that she's got this issue now. Girl, Germaine is doing your ass a favor by walking in your garment, ok? So suck it up. Referring to your new model as "flat and boxy" is not nice.
Korto has woven a coat out of seatbelts that has potential, but at the moment makes her model look like a Sumo wrestler wearing a picnic basket. Kenley snarks about everyone using seatbelts. God, just shut up. Blayne is having issues with the sewing machines and the seatbelts, and for the first time he genuinely seems frustrated. He's designed a "flowy" dress, but Blayne? Seatbelts ain't "flowy," they're flappy. Dun-dun-dunnn foreshadowing! Speaking of frustrated, Keith is having some PMS, being stompy and grouchy and making the other designers a little uneasy.
Tim does his walk-through, and starts with Jerrell, who is making a really cool-looking top and miniskirt. Tim is quite impressed. He moves on to Korto and compliments her "60's mod thing" and warns her not to lose "the sophistication." He then moves on to Stella, and expresses disappointment in her design, saying that it doesn't take the concept of innovation far enough. Leanne's bump-hip corset-y thing gets a "Wow." Keith interviews a bunch of blahblahblah. Tim tells the designers he's very excited with what they've come up with, and gives them until midnight before swanning off to wherever he swans off to.
We see Terri, who's having a bit of a breakdown, literally fall down onto the floor laughing, because Korto's still-stiff seatbelt coat somehow reminds her of "Jeepers Peepers." Jerrell interviews that Terri "has two faces and four patterns... Don't trust the bitch!" Ooooh!
Next morning, Atlas apartments, Korto is picking out her impressively huge and fluffy Afro while wearing a gorgeous black-and-white African beaded collar. We see Stella talking to her boyfriend, William, aka "Ratbones," on her Blackberry (the device seems to confuse her as much as the digital cameras did). She tells us that she will be collaborating with him on a line called Zotis & Bones. Awesome!
Next: Model Drama, and the Runway Show!
Update on Shannone's exit: Nick Vierros reveals in his blog that the models don't get paid, so they will take off if they get a better-paying opportunity, as there is little incentive for them to stay given how little they are actually promoted by the show. (Actually, what he said was "it does not behoove them" to stay, for which I will love him forever.) Go get loads of work, Shannone, we'll miss you!
(l-r) Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin
Del Martin and her parter of 55 years, Phyllis Lyon, were the first gay couple to be married in San Francisco, during that city's brief but doomed proclamation of same-sex marriage rights in 2004. And again, when California finally declared same-sex marriage legal this June, they were officially the first to be married. It brought tears to my eyes to see these two beautiful, brave women get married. 55 years! Who can honestly look at such a beautiful relationship and say that it doesn't deserve the same rights and respect as a hetero relationship?
Well, Del Martin has passed away, at the age of 87, after a long life of activism and fighting for the rights of lesbians. She, along with her partner and six other women, were founding members - way back in 1955! - of the Daughters of Bilitis, which was the first lesbian activist group in the United States. They weren't ashamed to stand up and say "we are lesbians," in a time when such a thing was completely kept under the rug. And they fought for the rights of gays all across the country, because they believed it was the right thing to do.
I'm thankful to this courageous, amazing, strong woman for all of the work that she did. My deepest condolences go out to her wife and lifelong partner, Phyllis. Thank you, Del. You did good.
There's an updated version, but I don't think it's as good as this one.
The Crystal Pepsi Guys!
"Who are we? Just some guys here in Denver, trying to have our voice heard. Trying to make a difference. Trying to have a little fun. Brian (sic) child of my roommate, and recent college grad, Peter."
They were first spotted in the background of a newscast from the Democratic National Convention:
"The time for change is now, and the choice is clear, crystal clear. CRYSTAL PEPSI! It's like drinking hope. For us, Crystal Pepsi is freedom in a can. Our platform is based on peace, love, and Crystal Pespi. Down with war, up with Crystal Pepsi. For us it's not about politics, it's only about Crystal Pepsi. This is a movement that we can all get behind, it unifies us to our very core, Crystal Pepsi. The foundation of America is Crystal Pespi."
I had to take a break to stop giggling, before continuing to read:
"In all honesty, for me, it's kind of nice to lighten the mood a little bit. Everybody is down there, protesting, screaming about a cause, yelling at one another about how the other person is wrong. It can be kind of a tense situation. It's nice to walk away putting a smile on someone's face, getting a high five, and hearing someone say we represent a movement we can all get on board with. People initially hear the "protest" coming, you can see the look on their face, "Great, what are these people marching and carrying on about?" When they discover our cause is Crystal Pepsi, there is an overwhelming feeling of relief, followed by immediate support."
In a city that's full of people yelling at each other and taking themselves far too seriously, it's good to see these guys taking some of the tension down. Is it stupid? Of course. But sometimes the Angry Protesters need a little stupid fun. How fucking random is Crystal Pepsi??? I love it! I'd change one thing, though - instead of hoping to unite the parties with their love of Crystal Pepsi, they should try to unite them in their loathing of Crystal Pepsi. 'Cause Crystal Pepsi was NAST.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Photo by Mark Robert Halper
Gigi Edgley is an Australian actress/performer/singer/all-around awesome person. I first discovered her in Farscape as the beguilingly badass little alien-on-the-run Chiana:
Chiana could deal with any situation, as long as she could "kick, kiss, or cry" her way out of it. And could she KICK! Check out the list of skills that Gigi brings to her roles, from her CV:
"Fire Twirling, Trapeze, Wire work, Aerobics, Body Surfing, Boxing, Cycling, Fencing, Gymnastics, Jet Skier, Kayaker, Kick Boxing, Martial Arts, Motorcycle Riding - General, Roller Skating, Rollerblading, Running - General, Running - Sprint, Scuba Diver, Shooting - Revolver/Automatic, Snorkeling, Surfing, Swimming - ability - general, Swimming - backstroke, Swimming - breast stroke, Swimming - freestyle, Water Skiing, Yoga, Comedian, Dance Jazz, Dancer, Firearms, Improvisation, Juggler, Licensed Driver, Martial Arts, Motorcyclist, Percussion, Singer, Stunts, Voiceover, Yoga, Australian Accent, British Accent, Cockney Accent, French Accent, German Accent, Irish Accent, New York Accent, Russian Accent"I met her on her 25th birthday at a con - I'm not a convention-goer normally; I went to help out with the Save Farscape campaign that was in full swing at the time, and she was there which made the icing on the cake! I made her some gifties and she was really lovely.
Can I just tell you, how fucking weird it is to go up to an actor at a table at a convention and give them money for a photo and autograph? While it is absolutely part of how they make their money, and yes they are providing a service... it's so weird and awkward. It's like paying someone to talk to you. Bizarre. I was happy to have an excuse to give her presents and just chill for a few minutes and then dash back to the Save Farscape booth. I got a photo, which I love for the sentimental value, but of course she's like 7 inches taller than me and has a dancer's body, so I felt like a big ol' cow standing next to her. Or a little ol' cow, I guess. How vain am I?! Geez.
Anyway, these days she's busy as usual, acting, but also co-writing a music/comic-book project called Blue Shift with writer Brian Meredith and musician Kyle Stevens. I haven't had the opportunity to see any of the stories yet, but there's a 3-song EP that's very cool. I have "Fall" on my MySpace profile.
For your enjoyment, the very first live performance of "Fall," at the 2007 Farscape Convention in Burbank. Wow, a singer who just sings, without using a bunch of voice-perfecting ProTools! So refreshing, especially considering that she was so nervous she was about to fall over. Goooo Gigi!!!
It looks like they have to use materials from cars to make their designs this week - should be veddy interesting... Seems to be hints of drama-llama-ness happening. This season, the game seems to be to guess whether the implied drama is real, or totally manufactured in the edit. We shall see!
Photo from Stella's MySpace
You have got to read this great interview that TLo from Project Rungay did with Stella Zotis. This chick is so rad. They really have been editing her as pretty clueless, which isn't all that accurate. She's funny, knows her style, and actually used "Project Runway" to stretch and grow as a designer, not just to get her face on TV and a catchphrase on a T-shirt. The issues she's had and the decisions she's made make a lot more sense now, knowing more about her background and construction methods. Go, go, read!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Wheee, Ted Kennedy made it to the DNC and just gave his speech. The media was abuzz all day about whether he'd make it in person, or appear on video.
In case you've been living under a rock, Ted was diagnosed a few months ago with a very aggressive and terminal brain tumor. The prognosis for those with his diagnosis is only about two years. He's been undergoing treatment and he looked amazing - considering he's about 1000 years old - and sounded strong, clear, and confident. I'm not going to critique his speech at all because, fuck, he's Ted Kennedy and he's dying and he still made it out to Denver because his work is so important to him.
Teddy, I rip on you all the time, but I love you! Keep fighting that bear!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Steve ate this.
Steve, Don't Eat It! is an awesomely gross little section of The Sneeze's archives; I'd forgotten about it until today and had to go find it again. And I want to share it with you, because nausea shared is nausea... something.
Steve bravely ate some things that you and I wouldn't even want to look at. Seriously, some of this shit is medal-worthy. I'm not cruel enough to post most of the photos on the page - you don't want to click while you're eating, 'k? - but will list a couple of the hideous things this guy actually put in his mouth, for no other reason than, well, he's fucking crazy.
- Pickled pork rinds (think about that for a minute).
- Huitlacoche, which is black-fungus-infected corn. In a can.
- Bun dai ki: silkworm pupas. Also in a can.
- Natto, the "food" so unappetizing-looking and disgusting that even most Japanese people hate it.
... and he follows a recipe for prison wine! I can get on that train.
"The emissions generated by the singer's tour are equivalent to that created by 160 Britons in an entire year and equal to the emissions generated by leaving a standard 100 watt lightbulb on for about 4,000 years."
"Among the 250 personnel who will travel with her to every event are nine wardrobe assistants, 12 seamstresses, a 12-piece band, a chiropractor, personal trainer, masseuse, 16 caterers and around 100 technicians and dancers."
"Thirty wardrobe trunks will be transported to each venue containing the singer's massive wardrobe which is made up of more than 3,500 items."And:
"In July last year, she headlined the Live Earth concert in London to promote climate change despite having a carbon footprint for that year estimated at 1,018 tons. The average Briton produces ten tons of carbon a year.
On stage at Live Earth, Madonna told the audience: 'If you want to save the planet, I want you to start jumping up and down.' She also told fans she was 'talking to the planet'."Hey Madge? The planet tried to call you back but you were busy eating soy chips or doing Qi Gong or whateverthehell it is you do in your spare time. It wanted me to tell you it's PISSED at you.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Gee, thanks SO MUCH Michael! Now I am never getting to sleep ever again. Fuckity-fuck, Madge needs to put that shit away. Augh!
So now I'm torturing everyone who reads this with the same retina-searing image. Wheee, the Internet is fun!
(That image is from Madge's tour opener, btw.)
Futuristic samurai! A lot of people complained about the strings. Terri boned (har) the corset with the yellow strings, using Japanese-style knotwork, then had them hang long instead of cutting them off. I think it's fucking awesome-looking. And the way she covered that boot with matching fabric was genius. The whole outfit has a kind of barely-finished look to it, but if she had the time to really do it properly and edit a little, it would be perfection.
Aaaand with that, some decidedly non-perfection:
UGH. Thank you, PR producers, for finally letting Daniel off the hook. He was so wrong for the show, didn't belong there, and probably missed his new boyfriend (he and Wesley are still together, great for them!). For all of his yacking about his impeccable high-end tastes, we saw none of it in his clothing. All he did was whine about how whatever the challenge called for, it didn't fit his aesthetic. Poor kid. Hell, poor US for having to listen to him for five weeks.
This dress actually looked really pretty in the workroom and moved beautifully on the runway. The problem is that it is not, by any stretch of the imagination, drag. It's a pretty, slightly tacky sundress/gown. And that's it. Anida Greenkard is a hot Latina character, and needed something big and showy and VOOM! She didn't get it. There were also some basic fit problems - the asymmetrical drop-waist made her right hip bulge out in a weird way. Daniel, these may be "women's" dresses, but you are still putting them on a man's body!
And now... the WINNER!
The Straight Guy takes it! Awesome work, Joe!
This was absolutely perfect for Varla Jean Merman, and it looked better on the runway than it does in the photo. Joe managed to make a beautifully form-fitting, junk-hiding, adorably-themed outfit that Varla loved so much I bet she wanted to wear it home. Girl WORKED it on that runway! Some folks thought Leanne or Terri should have won, and I could go with that too, but when you add up design, fit, construction, and how happy the client was, then Joe really is the clear winner.
Congratulations, Joe! You were nervous about designing for a drag queen, but you knocked it right out of the park and made Varla extremely happy.