Thursday, August 27, 2009

PR s6 Ep1 Part V: Auf Wiedersehen to...

Althea, Gordana, Malvin, Louise, Shirin, Epperson, Irina, Carol, Logan, and Nicolas are deemed safe, leaving those with the highest and lowest scores on the stage.

Q is up first. She kisses Lohan's arse, suggesting that she, or perhaps Miley Cyrus, would wear this gown to the Emmys. She was aiming for sexy and youthful - with that lawnchair print? Lohan compliments the back, but notes that the beauty of the back would get "lost" because of the front. "The front is a mess," Heidi notes bluntly. Nina notes that the seam is crooked. Kors calls it "schizophrenic" and rightly says that the woman wearing it would get "killed" by
the tabloids. Sorry Q, but it just didn't come out well.

Next, Chris. His model is going to the VMAs. He wanted to "play with the juxtaposition of hard and soft." I like the concept, though agree with Heidi that the bottom half of the dress looks "dirty-white." The wrong kind of gray can really look crappy on the runway. Kors deems it "cute and edgy" and appropriate. Nina approves. Lindsay would prefer fewer ruffles, but likes it. Chris lets out a big sigh of relief.

Ra'mon is next, and Heidi leads by saying she likes the dress very much. Kors thinks it's chic and well-made, but "respectable" (not in the good way, apparently). Lindsay agrees that it is a bit safe, but likes it. Heidi adds that it looks more expensive than it is, and she's right. There is definitely some, as Tom and Lorenzo would (awesomely) say, titscrepancy that bugs me, but it is quite nice.

Nina asks Ari, in the most hilariously restrained-bitchy way possible, what red carpet her model would be walking. Ari babbles about the VMAs in 2080 and also going to get a Nobel Peace Prize afterward.


I don't really have the heart to snark at this girl any more than I already have; it's too easy and makes even me feel too bitchy, so let's just say the judges all hate it and think it's ludicrous, and move on.

Cueball's model is an actress obsessed with the 20's, and going to the premiere of her new movie. He wanted it to be languid, liquidy. Nina calls it "seductive" and "wonderfully easy." Lindsay thinks it's sexy, but a weird color. Kors agrees that the color could have been navy or black and been much more chic. "Black!" pipes Heidi, adding that it's beautiful. I still think it's weird in the front, and actually liked the color, but I'm just a schmuck doing recaps, so what do I know? Maybe the color read differently in person than on camera (not uncommon with reds).

Poor Mitchell is now tasked with explaining his half-nakey model wearing a muumuu. What sucks is that he totally threw his model under the bus by essentially blaming his failure on her inaccurate measurements. Mitchell, perhaps this ought to be a lesson in not fully smocking a dress when you haven't been able to meet the model yet. The judges don't buy his excuses, either. Nina does note that while it's totally unwearable, there's an "attitude" about the garment that intrigues her. She wonders what else he can do. I agree with her.

Deliberation! The judges like Ra'mon (Lindsay thinks it's the closest to being a real red carpet dress), Cueball, and Christopher. They dislike Q's (a "nightmare" according to Kors, who adds the dreaded "taste level" comment.). They wonder whether Ari is even serious. So do we, judges, so do we. And obviously, Mitchell messed up big time, turning in an unwearable dress.

Cueball is safe!

Chris wins! He almost faints, bless him. He gets immunity for the next challenge and finally lets himself collapse and cry with relief backstage. Ra'mon is safe! So is Q. That leaves Ari and Mitchell, neither of whom turned in anything resembling a red carpet gown. But one of them has to go, and it's...

Ari! Auf freaking Wiedersehen! We get a quick "I learned something today" in Ari's exit interview, and that wraps the first ep of the new season.

Next Time: The designers must create something for "a real celebrity" who has a "biiiig surprise" for them. Oh god, please tell me that Curly Mullet did NOT just say he was going to do johphurs "like chicken thighs." We've got hot messes!

Can't wait. See you then!

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