Holee Shit

The last three weeks I've read Project Rungay's recaps after finishing mine, and I'm finding they're saying so many of the exact same things! Especially this week with the reaction to Blayne's outfit. I sweartagod I'm not copying!

Just saying.

Project Runway Episode 9 Previews!

Um, be a bitch much, Terri?



As if Leanne would change her model!

"Special Guests!" Oooh, la la, please let one of them be Christian!



WHEEE, it is! However, it looks like there are going to be a bunch of messes up on that runway, as well as a lot of designers bitching. Kenley is arguing with Nina! And we've got another fabric-pooping model. Ruh-roh! This is either going to be awesome, or horrible.

Condolences to Stella Zotis

Project Rungay has done another excellent interview with Stella, in which she reveals that her father died the day her auf'ing aired. We're sorry, Stella. Our thoughts are with you and your family.

The interview is, like the other one, an excellent read, and the more I learn about this woman the more she just fucking rawks. She's got a really interesting history - go read!

Also, we learn that some of the Tim snarkery may have been, like the Laura/Keith snarkery, a product of editing. The editors are starting to piss me off this season, with creating fights where there aren't any. If you have to go that far to make shit up, you either cast the wrong people or you're giving out shitty challenges. I mean, you made me hand out a b-slap to Tim Gunn, for fuck's sake. Not okay! Stop making nice people look like bitches and think up better challenges.

PR Ep.8 Part IV: Nooooo!

Continuing with the garments!

Kenley's dress, despite the totally barfy print, came out really well:



She totally played it safe by making just the dress - I really would have loved to have seen a coat with this. But, all things considered, it's beautifully-made and well-fitted. I love the matching trim. She only had a yard and a half of that barfy fabric - that's what I call cutting well!


And lastly, Leathuh Stella:



Aw, crap. This isn't made well. Those pants needed to be skinny-skinny, and the fit up top doesn't work (though I like the fabrics she used). The cape was just jacked-up. Still, I didn't think it was half as bad as the judges did. You're telling me this was worse than Blayne's fucking polka-dot pantaloons and Suede's craft-kid vest?


Bah, getting ahead of myself. So, the judges do their thing, and the safe designers are: Terri, Jerrell, and Blayne, leaving Korto, Joe, Kenley, Leanne, Stella and Suede on the runway. Let's start the ripping!

Korto is safe! Her vision was "freedom," and her choice of cut and colors carried it well. Fern calls the print "captivating." It is pretty damn cool. Just, that yucky sweater! Anyway, good job Korto!

Now for the wiener: It's Leanne! DvF loves that there's "a lot of good design" in the look. Fern is pleasantly surprised by the back ruffling. Heidi notes how much thought Leanne put into the construction. Hooray for Leanne! She wanted to win with immunity and she did.

Kenley thinks she "nailed" THE dress for the collection, and asks DvF if she agrees. Heidi answers by way of trashing Kenster's dress as too ordinary and only one piece. Hee hee hee. But! Then DvF looks over at Heidi and says she likes the dress. Fern and Kors follow up with praise. Don't you guys know Heidi is the producer? You don't make the producer look like a dumbass! Unless you're DvF, and then you can do whatever you want. Kenley and the barf print are both safe.

Suede seriously thinks his look is "sexy." Uh, Suede? I know you claim you're bisexual, but if you think a woman looks "sexy" in that getup, you're a deluded gay man, OK? But even though the judges hate the ugly, unflattering design, Suede is safe, to third-person us some more next week.

That leaves two designers in the bottom: Joe and Stella. Why am I not looking at Blayne and Suede up there? Jesus.

The judges rip Joe for his disastrously-constructed garment - the hem of which DvF pronounces "unacceptable." They also hate the open back - DvF notes you shouldn't turn around in it. Kors kindly says it's "not cohesive."

DvF points out that Stella's cape silhouette is from the wrong era. Heidi says that Stella gave them three pieces and did none of them well. Maybe not, but none of the three were as bad as a single one of Joe's pieces. The judges disagree, and Stella is OUT.

Stella seems slightly relieved, and says her ego was too big for the place, anyway. Hee. She notes that she has learned and grown from the experience. Tim is actually glad to tell Stella to go pack up, and makes no secret of it. I want to smack him. I do make a barfy face when they both do that fakey-kissy "I adore you and love you" thing - Stella, why play into that crap?

What bullshit. Is Stella the best designer on the show? No. Should she go to Bryant Park? I don't think so. However, for her to get sent home before Blayne or Suede, and for her outfit to be axed over Joe's fugly, half-finished mess, is just another example of producer bullshittery. And Tim was just so mean to Stella, as if she's so far beneath him. Luckily, she's a big girl and will do just fine without PR. Sorry to see you go, Stella - it was tremendous fun having you in our living room for eight weeks!

And with that recap done, I can finally go get caught up on all this week's posts at Project Rungay and Blogging Project Runway! I've been jonesing but I don't read anything PR until I've finished the recap. Yay!

PR Ep. 8 Part III: Let's Get a Fecking Move On!

Holee shit, I'm so late. Real life has offered a fabulously crap set of challenges this past week. So, I'm rolling in with less than a day to go until Ep. 9 to finish recapping Ep. 8. I'm gonna be like TWOP at this rate, tee hee (no disrespect, TWOP!). I didn't have time to do screencaps for the backs of a couple of the garments, but will do my best to describe them.

Runway Day! The guest judge, of course, is Diane von Furstenberg. Filling in for Nina, who is probably still trying to slip Slowey a mickey, is the fab Fern Mallis, who is wearing some sort of button necklace that I WANT.

First up, Sloppy Joe's mandarin monstrosity:

I think he was shooting for asymmetrical closures on the top, but it just looks like they're uneven. The outfit has a really ugly open back that shows that the back seam of the belt is uneven, as well as the seam of the skirt. The hooded capelet looks slack, sad and shiny-cheap. This is what he calls "polished?" Oh, dear. I think it says something that in the above photo, the model is hiding most of the outfit.


Luckily, Karalyn saves us all from retinal suicide by walking Leanne's incredible design:

I wasn't able to get a screencap of it, but the feature of this dress was an unexpected cascade of ruffles down the back. A risk to use a solid fabric, but she knocked it out of the park. The shape of the coat is divine and the whole thing was beautifully constructed. If this girl doesn't make it to Bryant Park, I'm gonna be pissed.


I just realized something about Terri - she has a great eye and makes impeccable trousers and blazers, but the fabrics and cuts she chooses for tops are UGLY. I first noticed in the Olympic challenge, and it's kind of been a theme - many of her outfits, I love except for the shirt she makes for it. This week's outfit was no exception, with a fireworks pattern (cleverly chosen, though, for the reference to China!). Well, there was one exception: WTF in Jesus' Friday Wig is going on in the crotch of these pants?

Yikes. I think that model will not be including this appealing shot in her portfolio. That coat is awesome - the lapel is a little much for me, but it had a great swing on the runway and was very well-made.


Jerrell: I'm... I don't even know what to say about this fucking thing:



Jesus, it's another Men On Film hat. I just wanted to flick it off her head. So did she, I imagine.

This looks a lot less offensive in print than it did on the runway. The way the top moved, it was like the model was leaking gold fabric out of her abdomen. The hem on the skirt is totally uneven. The blue belt is just nonsensical. And sorry Jerrell, but your fetish for stupid hats is becoming grating.


And now for something completely different:

Korto put together a really lovely, sophisticated design that was VERY von Furstenburg, and then fucked it up by topping it with a bulky, dated, 80's-looking shrunken sweater with bell sleeves:



The judges loved the little sweater. It was actually well-made and might've looked great on something with a less-voluminous lower body line. I imagine a non-model looking pretty frumpified in this combo. The yellow burst of fabric, however, was a bold and clever move that really made an impact.


Blayne - Two words: Polka-dot pantaloons.



NEXT!


Okay, Suede actually "loves" his outfit. I don't understand, but here it is:



Look at that model. She's all like "I can't believe I have to try and make this jacked-up shit look good." I'm so disgusted that Suede's still on the show, honestly. He has no idea how to fit clothes on a woman's body. The model could start a tent community under that skirt, and it's not a good look. The vest is not only ugly and poorly made, it's incongruous. This earns an exasperated headshake from us here at The Boogie House.

NEXT: The last two designs walk, and I do some grumbling!

Project Runway Ep. 8, Part II

... I last left our rabid, cutthroat designers as Tim prepares to do his walkthroughs. He starts with Suede who, being in love with camouflage or totally feeling it or completely obsessed with it, pick a hyperbole, has chosen a vaguely camo-colored pattern to make one big ol' fugly-ass PTA-Mom dress. It's sleeveless and the bottom of it is huge, guaranteed to make even the model look like she's got some serious hips going on. He's also made an ugly and incoherent herringbone vest with a high popped collar. Tim's puzzled, and convinces Suede to re-think the bottom of the dress. I think he might consider staging a circus underneath it.

Leanne's making a beautiful deep-blue solid-color dress with a wonderful jacket that is still in its "sloppy" stage, but has huge potential. Joe has an orange mandarin-type top with a bright pink belt and black skirt, with a pretty fug-looking lined hooded shawl. It's looking pretty craft-project at this stage. Korto's got a print dress under which she's going to put bright canary-yellow fabric. Tim objects to the yellow showing at the shoulder straps, saying it looks like bra straps that escaped. Kenley is making a simple sihouette with a high neck and matching hem - it's really nicely done, and Tim "sees Shanghai," but there's some concern over her only doing one piece.

Stella is making a wool suit of vest and pants, with a cape. Tim is sooo ready to hate it. He asks Stella what she thought of last week's criticisms. Her response: they were BS, they were clueless and not open-minded, and, I quote, "I think the stylist with the oversized muumuu and the waistband didn't know any better." Tim quickly asides, "Sorry Rachel Zoe, we mean that only in the nicest way," and Stella shoots back - get this! - "No I don't, I really mean it!" Laughter from some other designers and much laughter here at home. You freaking go, Stella! God, how did you survive on this show so long with the whole saying-what-you-think thing?

Fast-forward to the next day, Runway Day!

After getting instructions from Tim to BlahBlahBlah the BlahBlah Product Wall et cetera, the real fun begins. Terri opines solemnly: "We're. So. Screwed." Nobody feels they have enough time to finish. Kenley is wearing the most inexplicable uggo top - it's like her hairanimals have begun breeding and are hanging out on her shoulders. People are snarking about other designers' clothing. Terri is making fantastic pants. Jerrell is perching one of those minature Boy Scout hats atop his model's hairdo. Uh-oh!

Joe feels his look is polished, SO polished, in fact, that it "might get lost in all the crap that's going down the runway." I'm looking at that mess, Sloppy Joe, and I think you might be getting farsighted over there. The outfit is puckery, has uneven seams, and is poorly fitted on his model. Leanne interviews that she is surprised he's still there. Me too, Leanimal, me too.

Next: The Runway Show!

Project Runway Ep. 8 "Double O Fashion" Part I

Okay, let's just get it out of the way up front: the wrong designer was sent home, and Tim needs to take some Pamprin.

But first! Two days of adventure.

Morning at Atlas apartments, as the designers shake themselves awake and prepare for the next challenge - "real fabric," hopes Korto. Stella is trying to make coffee, and asks Terri whether she should do "one tablespoon or two," but she's holding a ladle. Terri remarks bitchily about how it's not hard to make coffee - jeez, she just asked you a question, Terri, and an important one, because there's a big huge difference between those two measurements. Stella decides she'll go strong, and ladles that shit on in there. Terri gets her b-slap when she sips her coffee and nearly falls over, pronouncing it "kick" with wide eyes. That's what you get for not answering a simple question, jerkface.

Heidi greets the designers (wearing godawful leggings), and we go through the usual want-to-switch-your-model?-no-OK-blahblah-losing-designer's-model-is-out. Then, a special guest is here to announce the challenge: it's Tim Gunn! Aww, he looks so cute up on that runway. He totters out, saying, "It's just little ol' me," and tells the designers they will be designing for a Fashion Legend.

Who ever could it be? Blayne immediately thinks of Mary-Kate Olsen. As a fashion legend. Eh? Legendary for dressing like a starving homeless person, maybe. But he then goes on to grace us with possibly the best string of consecutive words this season: "I want every challenge to involve Mary Kate. I want to marry Mary Kate. Who doesn't? Except Tim Gunn!"

I don't want to marry Mary Kate, Blayne.

They all head down to the Meatpacking District and find themselves in the office/studio of Diane von Furstenberg! She descends from a fucking palatial four-story staircase accompanied by this Love Boat-style music, like she just won Miss Universe, which she should win every year because she's so awesome. She floats to the bottom - I can't believe she doesn't wave like the Queen, she's so elegant - and shakes the designers' hands. It's almost surreal. In interview, Kenley is seriously overwhelmed and in tears over meeting DvF, in an I-haven't-slept-more-than-3-hours-in-30 kind of way.

So the designers will be creating a look to go with DvF's fall collection, which was inspired by Marlene Dietrich in A Foreign Affair. Diane tells them that the winner's look will be produced and sold exclusively to American Express cardmembers. "Thrilling!" chirps Tim, helpfully.

The designers get 15 minutes to pick fabrics from DvF's sample room to use for their creations (only ten yards total for each designer, so they don't get piggy about it). And what a sample room it is! Shelves upon shelves of bolts of amazing fabric, delicious prints - the designers are going apeshit, and Suede interviews that it's lucky Diane's not there to see all of them trashing her sample room in their rush to get what they want in the allotted time. Hey Suede - she just saw it.

Stella, who doesn't deal with bolts of fabric and has previously had trouble at Mood, is being a little whiny about not being strong/tall enough to get the fabrics she wants, but Tim is a total bitch to her! He dismissively tells her to move on to something else if she can't reach, and rolls his eyes. Tim made it clear in last weeks' Tim's Take that he thinks that Stella, well, sucks and shouldn't be there. That's fine if you think that, but you don't have to be a snot about it. She's actually sucked it up pretty well all season for someone who has never worked with bolts of fabric.

Tim finally calls time, obviously annoyed at the chaos - geez, he's a crankypants this week - and they all head back to the workroom, where they're given the usual "until midnight" to work. Each designer gets a look-book for DvF's collection. We see Leanne quietly, proudly pin her name on last week's winning garment. She interviews that while she's relieved to have immunity, she's not going to coast - she's in it to win again.

Joe notices there's lots of layering in DvF's collection, and all of the other designers think the same and design multiple pieces - except for Kenley, who's decided to make a dress. Not just a dress, but THE dress. She's picked a print that looks like someone puked on it, then someone else came along and got grossed out by it and puked on it again.

One by one, most of the designers make a bitchy insinuation about Kenley's single piece. She interviews that she'd rather spend 9 hours making one great thing, than 3 shoddy things. Hey, some people can turn out 3 amazing things in that amount of time - remember Christian? Whatever, she's focused and made up her mind, and is going with the Shanghai part of the theme.

The editors have decided that it's time to make everyone a bitch, apparently. The competitive stuff is really being played up. Joe and Blayne have the gall to rip on Terri's outfit, and Joe calls her a "one-trick-pony" because she always makes pants. Well, everyone else makes dresses, are you going to snipe at them for that? We also see Stella eating dinner with Leanne and Terri, and when they ask her what she's going to do, she's evasive. She interviews that she doesn't trust Terri and she doesn't think that what she's doing is any of Leanne's business. She doesn't like it when people ask questions and look at the other designers' things. Stella babe, these ladies are not looking to copy from you. Neither of them do the same kind of stuff you do.

The bitchitude carries over into the sewing area, and designers are interviewing about how competitive everyone is. More than once we hear the every-person-for-themselves thing. Producers: we GET it. They're all rabid and self-centered and will CUT YOU.

We get a weird silly interlude where Leanne is pretending to be a spy, and sneaks around the workroom. She's so cute. Joe looks at Kenley's dress and actually makes a barf face. Why so confident, Joe? God, I'm really starting to dislike this guy.

NEXT: The designers struggle to get their shit together. Terri: "We're so screwed!"

Friday Fun

Kelly has a new video! This one features her Mom.

"Where Do You Think You're Going in That?"


March it, lady!

Friday Music!

Oldie-but-awesomey: Kitchens of Distinction - "Drive That Fast"



Enjoy!

Leave Sienna Miller Alooone!

I don't even know this woman and she could be a total horrid bitch for all I know, but I'm ready to pull a Chris Crocker over here.

She's dating Balthazar Getty, who apparently left his wife for her, or left his wife just before hooking up with her, or whatever. The point being that society always brands "the other woman" as a whore, a homewrecker, a slut. Meanwhile, the man? Not a whisper. Hell, he's a hero for scoring another chick, right? Getty might get shit for leaving a wife with four kids, but at the end of the day it's all Sienna's fault! He couldn't help it! She seduced him away with her evil wiles! He was bewitched! OMG BURN HER SHE'S A WITCH! (She turned me into a newt!)

Don't get me wrong - there's nothing we women love more than hating on a slut. I imagine there's some complex evolutionary psychology that goes into that. We might pretend to be above it, but we love it. And there are certainly women who earn scorn. But whatthefuck is with the Scarlett Letter-style shit that is going on here? Ever since Miller got together with Getty, the headlines have been shouting about what a horrible homewrecking heifer she is.

And then someone did this to her house:

(Tangent: That is one ugly mo'fo-ing house!)

Imagine coming out of your house and seeing that, while having a bunch of paps gathered around you snapping away.

Jesus H. Christ. So now, apparently, she is moving out of the country. I somehow doubt this is the sole reason, but it certainly must be a driving motive.

A quote from her mother:

"It's disgusting that she can not live in her own country. Now she's going to have to leave the country to get on with life. She can't live here now. Why is it that if a man leaves his wife the new woman gets all the shit? That doesn't happen the other way round."

Ma Miller is right. The woman automatically gets all of the shit, regardless of whether there's maybe the possibility that, I dunno, there are two people involved. I've never understood the auto-hate for a woman who dates a married man. If Getty did cheat on his wife, how does that make Sienna a whore, exactly? I'm pretty sure that makes Getty the whore, given that he's the one who made marriage vows, but of course men are incapable of such low things, right? Women are evil temptresses who will lure your man away and they must be shamed! Publicly!

BARF.

Images via Dlisted

Project Runway Episode 8

I wasn't able to give my full attention to last night's ep until the actual walking of the garments, so I recorded the later showing and will watch tonight to start working the recap. Darlings, have I got some things to say about the auf-ing! And Tim Gunn earns a b-slap from me for the very first time! There were also lots of great garments - the wheat is really beginning to separate from the chaff. More to come!

Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin...

... is all that anyone is talking about lately, and I'm so farking over it already. So instead, here's a video I found of a kitten falling asleep:



That's better!

Twins!

Jason Priestley and baseball player Bruce Sutton, if Sutton went camping for three weeks. Braaaandon, wtf is going on?

photos via Dlisted and ESPN

Online Etymology Dictionary

This freakin' rocks!

I haven't done any writing in a really long time and find myself pretty rusty, so I've got wordage on the brain, and have been mulling over all the words that I love. Trying to remember roots gives me nightmares of my freshman English teacher, who continually mangled my name and made us spend three fucking months reading The Odyssey (Homer, I hate you). I did a quick search to see if I could find a way to stop hearing the context in Mrs. Faux-Frenchypants' voice, and found The Online Etymology Dictionary. Sweet! I immediately looked up "malapropism" because it's got a fun history:

1849, from Mrs. Malaprop, character in Sheridan's play "The Rivals" (1775), noted for her ridiculous misuse of large words (i.e. "contagious countries" for "contiguous countries"), her name coined from malapropos (adv.), 1668, a borrowing from Fr. mal à propos "inopportunely, inappropriately," lit. "badly for the purpose," from mal (see mal-) + proposer "propose."

Heh, how very American that George Bush has never been referred to as "Mr. Malaprop."

Because It Had to Be Posted: Joan Rivers

Thanks to Jezebel

90210!

The new "90210" is so awful! I mean, I wasn't expecting it to be good, but just had to see what they'd come up with. The cheesy fun of the old series is tough to parallel.

I missed the first few minutes so I was totally lost on which character was which. Not a big deal, though, because the only bitch that matters in this whole production is Jessica Walter, aka Lucille Bluth from "Arrested Development":

Her character on this show is just like Lucille, if Lucille were run through the CW blender.

The "In A World..." Guy is Dead!

I didn't need to speak Dutch to figure out what this headline from the Netherlands meant: "Film-trailer-stem-meneer is dood." I stopped by Dlisted and there he was, Don LaFontaine, The Great Voice of Film Trailers, aka The "In A World..." Guy, dead at 68 from - of all things - complications from a collapsed lung.

Michael K posted LaFontaine's memorably funny Geico commercial here. You'll be much missed, Don!

Project Runway Ep. 8 Previews: Diane von Furstenberg!

Oh, this is going to be so cool. Actually, let me back up on that: this has the potential to be so cool.




Who is responsible for the Mystery Dracula Cape? Is Kenley serious with the tears? Will Blayne ever understand the meaning of "legendary"? And most importantly, did Stella's coffee come out okay?

(Seriously - Terri, don't be a bitch; that shit's important. And I'm not just saying that because I'm out of coffee and have imaginary mugs of it dancing before my eyes.)

All will be answered tomorrow night when Diane von Fursternberg arrives!