Project Runway Season 6 Episode 12: The Final Insult

Previously on Project Runway:  The designers had to create a complimentary piece to their "best" look.  Collar-Gate!  Sweater-Gate!  Under-Bus-Throwing!  Lots of Runway Fug!  Althea won for some baggy-butted Big Girl Pants, Gordana managed to save herself, Chris was saved despite yet another butt-ugly bed-cover dress, and Logan, despite wearing the Magical Shiny Pants, got the auf.

This week brings us to the Last Challenge Before Bryant Park: a field trip to the Getty Center to use one of its features or displays as inspiration, with their models serving as muses.

All photos courtesy of Lifetime.com 

 The Getty Center is freaking beautiful.  From the grounds, to the building itself, to all of the beautiful displays within, there's plenty of inspiration to be found.  The designers get about an hour to take a tour, get inspired and make sketches, and are allowed a relatively generous $300- at Mood and two whole days! to put together their looks.

With only five designers left, there's a scramble to amp up the drama as much as possible to fill the hour.  I don't know why the producers don't see fit to actually show us more than 3 seconds of the actual freaking CLOTHES, you know, given the show is supposed to be about clothes and not how clueless Irina is about being nice to people or how golly-gosh-shucks-cute Chris is or how ready Gordana is to cut some of these junior-high bitches already.  But let's just go with it.  Is there a choice?

Poor Chris is the lone boy left in the guys' apartment.  He notes that he thought for sure that Nicolas and Unnecessary Apostrophe would still be there.  Which leads to This Episode's Thoughts (scroll down if you don't give a crap and just want to see the clothes):

Whether he knows it or not, Chris's offhand comment pretty much puts many of the problems with Season 6 in a nutshell.  The ins and aufs this season illustrate perhaps more than any other how different being a designer on Project Runway is from being a real-world designer.  Improvisation is not a natural talent for everyone, even when they're not constantly on camera and jamming sewing needles through their fingers.  There are some incredibly talented designers out there who need to take time to put together their vision, do revisions, etc.  This season, the designers almost never even got to "sleep on it."   Usually, I feel it's a cop-out when an auf'ed designer says "I wish I could have shown you what I can do."  This season, I actually am wishing I could see what these designers can do, because I don't think any of them really got a chance.  One-day challenges, tiny budgets, too little time to sketch and shop, an ever-changing judging panel, and not even having access to the full Mood inventory:  it all adds up to a lot of unfulfilled potential.

(Without giving anything away, I have seen the Final Collections already and can tell you that the restrictive nature of the season is glaringly obvious, and I'm pleasantly surprised at how good all three collections are.  Maybe not everyone would have shown an excellent collection at Fashion Week; for example, I love Epperson, but I recently saw his post-show collection and was sadly underwhelmed.  But at least we might have seen something interesting if these designers hadn't been so damn shortchanged by the clusterfuck that was the lawsuit and resulting production problems.)

Okay, glad to get that out of my system.  Seriously, I'm hoping we can get the full behind-the-scenes scoop on exactly how cracked-out this entire season was, because that has got to be one interesting story. More interesting than any of the uncomfortable little dramas in this episode, anyway.

What's not uncomfortable at all is Gordana telling us about how important it is for her to do this last challenge for all of the people she loves.  She's so doomed. 

Oh my god, I know why Althea is doing so well: Heidi presents the challenge to the designers while wearing a dress that looks like Althea might have made it.  Heidi sends through what she would like to wear, rather than what constitutes good fashion, which is one frustration I've seen echoed throughout blog comments the last few eps: make it short, tight, and shiny, and you'll stay in the competition.  After what she wore to judging last week, I frankly think this woman has no freaking business judging fashion. I like Heidi generally, but geez.

At the Getty Center, the designers meet with Tim and, holy crap, the Mayor of LA, Antonio Villaraigosa, who tells them all that LA is certainly not a cesspit of excess and crime and smog and earthquakes and mudslides and wildfires.  The models come out and pair up with their designers for a tromp through the museum.  I'll try a slightly different format this week, breaking things down by designer, then reconvening at judging time.

Gordana:  Gordana shares with us that she is very spiritual, and wants to create "my angel."  Her inspiration is a Monet painting, the bluest one of his Rouen Cathedral series; its colors remind her very much of her home in Europe.  I mostly love the dress she created, but have a couple of issues with it:

Her use of colors to evoke the cathedral was moderately successful, but the whole dress made us immediately say "labia!"  And there are some execution issues in the back.  But it's probably my favorite look this week, even with the vaginosity.

Chris:  Of all the things in this entire incredible complex, Chris is inspired by the algae on the rocks in this fountain:

You know, sometimes this kid just makes it too fucking easy.  He's so self-conscious while being so unself-aware, but he's so darn nice that I feel bad rolling my eyes at him.  Something that's also been widely echoed throughout various blogs is that Chris has potential, but really really needs an education, more experience, and some time to mature and be able to take critiques well.  I couldn't agree more.  I mean, let's say he managed to take this inspiration and create something appropriate.  It would most definitely not have been this look:

The fact that he used that fabric to make that skirt shows his lack of experience with textiles.  It was so heavy-looking, and moved so poorly.  The top is one that he has already shown us, with trim at the sides that looked like seaweed.  And here is yet another poorly-executed Waist Thing that is neither a cincher nor corset, but merely serves to add bulk to the waistline.  Will someone please clue this kid in that women do not want extra bulk at their waistlines?  Then there was this detail on the skirt:

"It looks like the model sat on a gigantic praying mantis!" snarked my other half.  Was that on the fabric when he bought it?  Ugh.  Anway, this is just another example of why Chris needs more experience. He doesn't understand what women actually want to wear or how use fabrics properly on a body.  I really think he could do better with some education.

Irina:  Irina is inspired by a painting of some semi-nakey old-timey ladies in diaphanous gowns.   She wants to carry over the diaphanousness (totally a real word) and bring in some fur. What is it with this woman and fur?  It's so fucking gross to use real fur, I'm sorry.  Actually, I'm not sorry.  It's gross.  Though there is a funny moment at Mood where she guesses the skin she's got might have come from a rabbit, and Tim, who is anti-fur and does some work for PeTA, says there's no way that big skin came from a rabbit unless "it's a giant, giant Scandanavian rabbit."

As it turns out, the fur was wasted anyway because she decided not to do a wrap after Tim told her it was looking like "roadkill."  Good thing, because it would not have helped this look:

I can see exactly where she was going with this, but am not thrilled with the result.  The styling is awful, and it's too long.  The stomach area bags a bit in the wrong way.  I can't make up my mind about the back:  I like it, but there's something about it I really don't like, and I can't figure out what that is.  So it just sort of bugs me.

Althea: Althea's inspired by the architecture of the Getty Center itself, musing to Tanisha that the look will need to be very tailored.  What a surprise!  Sorry, sorry.  I hope her idea of tailoring includes bust support, this time.  Sorry!  Let's see what she came up with:

Oh.  Oh, dear.  Oh, dear, this is not good.  While I applaud her for finally making sure Tanisha's boobies did not look like two ferrets fighting in a sack, and I appreciate all the thinking that went into constructing this dress, the result just sucks.  It's puckery, gappy, and bulges in weird places.  And it's got the same damn neckline again.  This one gets a thumbs-down.

Carol Hannah:  We at Chez Boogie were not at all surprised that this was CH's inspiration:

This is a girl that likes her draping.  However, she didn't end up going quite where I thought she would...

I'm sort of disappointed in the color:  it doesn't evoke the original inspiration.  I also expected her to do more draping, and maybe include some discreet feather accents.  As much as I dislike "wrapped the drapes around myself" gowns, she did an excellent job with the angles on this, and I love how the straps at the shoulder cross each other (those straps are the biggest nod to her inspiration).  But the back has a really odd butt-dimple and I hate it when dresses are all crease-y around the hips.

Wow, is that all?  Apparently so.  Everyone gathers on the runway for judging.  No Kors for the last challenge?!  I absolutely, completely do not understand the judging this year.  Sitting in for our Orange Princess is Cythia Rowley, and the guest judge is Cindy Crawford, whom Heidi introduces as a "style icon" but I'm pretty sure she's just a model who actually wears a lot of jeans and t-shirts IRL.

They talk to Althea first.  She explains her architecture inspiration.  Both Cindy and Cynthia note that the idea was a bit too ambitious; Cindy says that pleating is hard to wear, and Cynthia thinks it looks like Althea spent so much time on the skirt that she had to just throw together the top.  Nina echoes the sentiments.  Heidi calls it a "mess fest."  Yeah, pretty much.

Irina's idea was to juxtapose the very soft and girly dress with some edgier styling.  The judges basically tell her to take all the excess crap off the model, even her shoes, and there, doesn't she look better now?  Hee, I love when they do that.  Nina likes the back, but thinks the length is "old lady."  Cindy likes the color.

Gordana gets a bit emotional when describing her inspiration.  The judges love it:  Heidi can absolutely see the connection to the painting.  Nina says it's "perfectly made" but still doesn't see Gordana taking any chances.  I dunno, she took the chance of totally making a labia dress.  Cindy can see herself wearing it.  But uh-oh, the back is a problem.  "Not so great from the back, but beautiful from the front," says Nina.

Cynthia thinks the fit is beautiful on CH's dress.  Cindy says it was well-executed, but she doesn't see the connetion to the inspiration.  Nina says some crap about how it's "perfect, but it's almost a safe perfection."  WTF does that even mean?

Chris definitely used the wrong fabric for his very long skirt.  No one points out that he's done the same top before.  Heidi asks Chris if he's confident in this look for the Final Challenge.  He starts to cry and says that this look says more about him as a designer than anything else he's made.  Well then, I hate to say it, but you are fucked, my friend.

After a torturous grilling of each designer about why they think they deserve to go to Fashion Week, it's time to make the decisions.  Irina is in.  Chris is out.  CH is in.  Gordana is out?!  WTF?  Althea is in after that crapfest of a dress, while Gordana's lovely gown gets her sent home?  The judges seemed to like Gordana's dress the best, at first.  Ugh, why am I surprised?  This whole season has had "producer manipulation" written all over it.   Gordana, I hope you thrive and prosper in your career.  Chris, please please please go to school, or intern with some design houses, and get some learning and experience under your belt.

Next time: Bryant Park!  Three anonymous collections are presented.  More manufactured drama., blah blah blah.  Looking forward to seeing the whole thing wrap up.  See you then!

Project Runway Season Six Ep 11: The Mediocre-est of the Mediocre

Welcome!  Previously on Project Runway:  Kors Challenge!  The designers had to create a look inspired by a locale.  Chris made "an Amish dress" for Santa Fe, Irina was a bitch the whole time but won with her  "majorly luxe" Aspen look, and Nicolas made Horrendous Not-Grecian Pants and got sent home, just as we were starting to like him.

This week, we begin with poor Chris musing with Logan about how frustrating it is to be given gold stars at first, then landing in the bottom a handful of times: "Congratulations," "Congratulations," "Great work," "Great work, " "Fantastic," "Stunning"..."Sucky," "We hate it," "We hate you," "You're fat."  Hee.

Irina brilliantly deduces that the fashion industry is dominated by men.  This show was so much better in the first year when the contestants weren't so conscious of the cameras.  Althea thinks that she, Irina and Carol Hannah are the standouts of the group.  Foreshadowing?  Gordana's decided it's time to show the judges their imaginations, since they've all shown by now that they can make clothes.  That would be a nice idea, if the format this year would give any of them enough sketching time.  Carol Hannah's worried that all she's made is dresses.  That's okay, CH, that's all most people make on this show.  (I tried including Carol's second name, since there are fewer names to have to type out now, but I just can't manage it more than the once, so CH it is.)

The designers head in to the runway room but must sit facing backwards, away from the stage.  This leads to this season's Most Awkward Moment as the designers act like Mike Meyers might leap out and kill them all.

Calm down guys, it's just Heidi in a dress under which I very much hope she was wearing dancer shorts, who tells them they can turn around and look... at the collection of winning designs so far this season, one by each of the designers.  (Except for Mr. Shiny Pants, who hasn't won any challenges, and thus his garment is the the one the judges deemed his best.)  Their challenge?  Create a companion piece to their best look that compliments and enhances it.

I miss the Hershey Store Challenge so much right now.

Another one-day challenge that gives the designers little time to sketch, and little time to choose and buy fabrics.  Joy!  (Though re-watching this on the Lifetime site, at this point I burst into giggles at the Top Chef advertisement that pops up on the screen.) CH and Althea are wearing matching samurai sashes.  What's up with that?

Althea wants to take the "paper bag waist" of her winning skirt and bring it to a pair of pants.  Urgh, the waist of that skirt was heinous in the first place.  Irina Einsteins how to build a collection.  Thanks!  Gordana's thinking of a blazer, top and pants for a work-ready look to compliment her "edgy" sewn-strips dress.  Chris is going for a gown, with a "different spin" on his winning Lindsey Lohan look.  Oh my god, he's sketching a mishmash of the three dresses he's shown us so far.  It looks like a topiary is growing out of the model's ass.  I'm starting to think that Chris taught himself to sew by deconstructing doll's clothes, because that seems to be the limit of his know-how.

Irina's decided against a skirt, instead going with a dress.  Logan is going to do a load of zipper trim/embellishment.  Wow, that's never been done before, that's so out there.  CH is feeling torn over whether to do pants, for the sole reason she mentioned before, that she's only done dresses.  Tim brilliantly advises her that if she's going to push and go big, she needs to be in a certain comfort zone.  If she's too concerned about properly executing the pants, she won't be able to get really creative with the design.  Reason #4812 why Tim rocks.

Thank You, Mood!  Back to the workroom.  Irina's cutting and placing the pretty tapestry fabric she bought for a look that's more "about work." Illegal-in-most-states work, maybe.  Althea's buddying up to Irina a bit.  Uh-oh.  Logan gets a little bitchy in the workroom.  Gordana's noticing an increase in negativity in the workroom.

We get a glimpse of Gordana as a child, in her village at the Bosnian/Serbian border.  Her parents were uneducated Serbian farmers, she tells us, making it all the more amazing that she's here, in the Top Six, doing what she loves.  Love this woman.  Though she does say her parents were "just farmers," to which I say, "Someone needs to grow the food, you know?"  Seriously, I don't turn my nose up at farmers.  It's nice for people to be able to eat. But I digress. Chris has purchased 30 yards of lining fabric, and Logan interviews snarkily, but correctly, that Chris's signature is just to volumize the crap out of everything.

Tim comes in for the walkthrough.  CH is afraid that her look is looking like "a big scary mess," which gets no argument from Tim, but he does offer some advice for using her fabric that earns a "yay," from her.  I just noticed she has a tattoo of little stars on her right hand (is that real?).  Tim is excited about Irina's Unexpected (In A Good Way) look, but notes she needs to have the cardigan she planned to do.  A lot of people think the camel/copper brown is dull, but I absolutely love that color (I dig fall shades).   Chris's gown is worryingly bottom-heavy and matronly.  Althea's pants are looking like they're "waiting for a diaper," which scares Tim.  Me too. Gordana's liking the rough finish on her jacket's seams, but it looks really crappy.

Althea notes that Logan is making a collar out of zippers, just like she did in the movie challenge.  Wait, that had a zipper collar?  Never even noticed. She decides she's fine with it because she thinks she did it better anyway.  Cool!  I respect that attitude.  But wait, she makes the mistake of having a little bitchfest over dinner with Irina in the fishbowl room off the designing area.  Irina encourages Althea's anger, advising her to say something passive-aggressive to Logan. Of course.

Runway Day!  Chris struggles to get all of the fabric petals sewn onto his Giganto-Gown.  Althea is stressing over having to hand-sew her big sweater: she'll have to do a basting stitch around the bottom, and we all know how good that looks.   Gordana needs a hook-and-eye and Althea offers that she might have one in her bag, but G can't find one and asks Irina.  Irina bitchily and absently snaps "I don't know."  And that shows her character, right there.  The best designers on this show have wanted to compete on fair terms, not walk over weaker people.  If you're that good, it won't matter if you give a closure to someone else.  "When I want something, usually I get it," interviews Irina.  How I loathe this woman.  Logan interviews that she's called "Mean-a Irina."  Haw!  Meanwhile, the Mean-a rubs off on Althea, who interviews snarkily that CH is a one-trick pony who only makes dresses.  Okay, Boobies-Akimbo-Scoop-Top-Thin-Belt Lady, who certainly doesn't churn out the same look week after week.  Geezus.  But then, Irina tops the Stank Cake by accusing Althea of copying her Aspen look, because she invented Giant Sweaters.  This Junior High crap really does my head in.

Thankfully, it's Garnier-L'Oreal-Macy's time.  Let's get to the runway!

HAHAHAHAHA what the hell is Heidi wearing??

The guest judge is Kerry Washington,  actress and L'Oreal spokesmodel.  Who?  Never mind, we've got "Uncle Nick" Vierros, season 2 designer, PR blogger, and instructor at FIDM!  And Nina!  Sadly, no Kors.  Too bad, cause I'd love to know what he'd have to say about that getup Heidi is wearing.  Let's start the show!

We start with this inoffensive little poufy dress from CH:

It's a little awkward in the way that it moves a lot, but is also quite stiff.  A strong wind would just blow that thing right over her head.  And I don't get what's up in the boob area -- it's so weird and looks kinda like giant inverted nipples.  The back is simple but cute.  As a compliment to her winning Aguilera dress, I guess it works, in the sense that it's also black.

Can someone explain to me how this next look won?

Okay, as a concept, this fits with Althea's winning look.  But since I hated that one, too, it makes sense that I would then dislike this one.  Those pants look good on exactly no one, I don't care whether they're on trend.   Baggy butt, wide-looking thighs, sloppy-looking waist. The execution on the sweater is dismal, though I like the idea and it looks really comfy.  But can we get a closer look at that top?

Why are those darts there on the bust??  No really, Althea, why are those darts there on the bust?  And WHAT is going on with those pasties underneath?  It looks like the model has giant diseased nipples.  Why have none of the judges pointed out that Althea cannot fit a bust, and that every week her model's boobies are flying all over the place?  Oh, my head.

Luckily, Logan provides some comic relief:

See, Althea, this is why you don't stress if someone steals an idea.  It doesn't mean they're going to do something awesome with it.  They may, like Logan has, make a cross between a B-movie space costume and a diner-waitress uniform.  He used zippers to line the arm holes??  Yeah, that would feel excellent.  The zippers and the non-color are the only things tying this look to his "best" look.  (Which I don't even agree was his best look; I think it should've been the SciFi look he did for the movie challenge.)  Hilariously, Nina makes a lemon-sucking face as Kojii walks this down the runway.

Here comes this week's entry from Irina, Inventor of the Giant Sweater.  When I first saw this on the runway, I really liked it.  But giving it a closer look in photos, there are some problems with it:

The cut of the sweater is really unflattering, putting a lot of volume right at the model's hips.  While I liked the dress at first, the paneling on the side of the legs is actually really cheap-looking, and the back is all kinds of weird and puckery.  The sewing of the layered fabric pieces is sloppy-looking. I love the colors, and it goes very well with the previously-winning look, but it's not without flaws.

Sadly, Gordana gave us kind of a clunker this week:

I liked the concept and design of the jacket, but the execution is poor.  The front of the jacket bagged out in a really unflattering way, and the seams and hem looked bad.  The skirt is a weird length, too.  It also doesn't really strike me as being from the same collection as her previous winning dress.

Last, and potentially least, it's Princess PuffyBloomers:

This look again.  Sigh.  Actually, if the Bob Mackie episode had been about doing a tribute to Mackie, Chris could've whipped this out as a tribute to his Carol Burnett work.  I am so effing tired of seeing the same shape from Chris over and over.  It relates to his winning look, but so does every single outfit he's done this year (with possible exception of his maternity look).

It's worth noting, here, that this week's Rate the Runway on Lifetime.com shows over 700 votes, with only 2 designers earning 3 out of 5 stars.  Everyone else got 2 stars.  At this point in the competition, that is pathetic.  Uninspiring, uninspired.  Designers giving us the same look week after week.  Boring, rushed challenges.  At this point, this season is basically a wash, and I'm only continuing to recap because I've committed to doing so.  None of these designers are exceptional.

Still, one has to win, and one must go home.  All six of the designers remain on the runway for judging: the best are Althea, Irina, and CH.  The worst are Chris, Gordana, and Logan.

Chris's look is unproportioned and carnival-float looking, with a bedskirt bottom.  Irina says her look is something for a cocktail party or evening.  Ohhh, so it *is* that kind of "work" look.  Gotcha.  Nick thinks it's uptown chic.  Nina likes the color and shape of the coat, but thinks the dress looks cheap.  Heidi makes a point to say that Nina was the only one who didn't like the dress.  Nina makes a "bitch, please" face, which cracked us up at Chez Boogie.  On the other hand, Heidi hates Gordana's look, saying it makes her model look "old and sad and drab."  Well, to be fair, Gordana thinks this is an "elegant silhouette," which makes me think she might need new glasses.  The fit is just not good.

The judges do like CH's dress.  Nick puts in "Ava Gardner."  However, they do not like Logan's look.  Logan says he could see Pink wearing it to the VMAs, which sends Washington into peals of giggles.  Ooh, mean!  Nina pronounces it unflattering, student-project work.  "Judy Jetson," offers Nick.  Heidi calls Althea's My First Big-Girl Pants "genius."  WHAT? What is Heidi smoking, and can I have some?  There's no mention made of the hideous boob-darts or those wack pasties Tanisha is wearing.  Instead, Irina throws Althea right under the bus because she invented Giant Sweaters.  What'd I tell you about cozying up to the bitches, Althea?  They'll run you over, too.

After some very Mean Girls-style debate, the decisions are made.  Althea wins, and Logan's shiny silver pants have run out of magic: he gets the auf.  Did you know his design partner was Blayne, of "Lame-licious" last-season infamy?  There's a joke in there somewhere.

Another disappointing week, over.  Next week: The Last Challenge!  Stalactites and roadkill and bemusement from Tim, oh my!

Project Runway S6 Episode 10: Uninspired

Previously on Project Runway:  Bob Mackie challenge!  Lots of not-Mackie creations!   Christina Aguilera!  Nicolas came across as kind of likable!  Carol won!  Poor Shirin had a total meltdown, made a Vampire Bride Halloween costume, and sadly, got auf'ed. And then we all threw things at our televisions.

A preface to this ep: Nina asked on this one, "Where's the fantasy?"  I'll tell you, Nina - the fantasy was the idea that we might get a runway full of well-made, fresh looks.  Oh, I'm so grumpy about this episode.  I initially thought we had a good group of talent, but this particular runway made me think that most of these designers are just so uninspiring.  And the thing is, there *are* some very good designers this year.  I don't know if it's fatigue/burnout, being-on-tv nerves, the too-short challenge timeframes, or what, but they keep turning out really disappointing looks.

Well, let's see what this week had in store, shall we?

The sun rises over L.A., and we get the usual Wow, We're Really Down to the Wire.   Carol interviews some sheep/wolf analogies about the competition side of things.  The only wolf I see is Irina, but whatever. Poor Christopher thinks that being one of the Top 7 is a validation of his talent.  Who wants to be the one to tell him that this is reality television, and it's therefore only a validation of his ability to Give Good Television?  I sure don't.  He's so cute.

Wearing enormous earrings, Heidi greets the designers and instructs them to go with Tim to Rodeo Drive to meet with a Famous Designer.  Logan correctly assumes that they will be doing something higher-end.  Chris is so adorable with his small-town-boy wonder at all of the wealth and power contained on one street.  I was the same way when I went to Worth Avenue in Palm Beach.  (Until I looked around and realized that being rich enough to afford high fashion does not grant one the ability to wear it sensibly.)

The Famous Designer they're meeting with is... KORS!  At his own flagship boutique!  It has become an automatic reaction to start singing the Oompa Loompa song whenever Kors comes onscreen.  Hee.

Kors (oompa) gives (loompa) the designers their challenge: create a fabulous look inspired by one of Kors' favorite locales.  Back at FIDM, Carol, as last week's winner, gets to pick first among the locales, choosing Palm Beach.  Tim  then brings out the Velvet Bag o' Mystery and one by one, the rest of the designers get to choose.  Nicolas decides not to pick New York because he feels it's too easy, and he wants a challenge - I respect him for that - and chooses Greece.  Althea picks St. Tropez with no hesitation.  Gordana takes New York.  After some deliberation, Irina picks Aspen (then interviews that winter-wear is one of her specialties, so I don't know why the indecision, but okay).  Chris immediately takes Santa Fe (hilariously represented in a photo by a steer skull on a stick), which leaves Logan with Hollywood (he does a silly little Touchdown dance).

Argh!  Another overly-restricted challenge: only 30 minutes to sketch, $150-, and one day to finish.  This should've been a two-day challenge.

Sketching begins.  Carol is going for relaxed-but-put-together.  Althea wants to juxtapose the yacht-party and old fishing-town qualities of St. Tropez.  Gordana wants something for Park Avenue to represent a sophisticated, independent woman.

Mood Madness!  Logan lags.  Gordana spends so much money on little jewels that she's only got thirty dollars to buy fabric.  She's anchoring her whole look on a statement necklace.  Logan is doing a "bohemian, comfortable" look with skinny jeans. For Hollywood?  OK.  Irina's trying to make the most of the tiny budget for her winter look, doing a fur vest with a full hood and a cowl-neck sweater.  Nicolas thinks the judges will absolutely love his look, or hate it.  Carol wishes she could have bought more fabric.

Irina's being a grumpy-pants in interview again, but she's not wrong that messing around makes the sewing take longer.  Still, in this environment, it's rare that someone doesn't just need to go slap-happy and joke around.  (Total side note: What the fuck is Gordana wearing?  My God, that's a horrendous outfit.)

Tim comes in to check out what the designers are doing.  Gordana shows him the beautiful necklace she's making, but she hasn't even started the dress.  Tim's nervous and warns her to start the dress soon so she doesn't get stuck.  Althea hasn't yet learned not to talk over Tim.  She wants to make sure her outfit is tailored so that it looks expensive.  Tim warns her to watch the proportions.

Chris is, like Gordana, focusing on an accessory element - for his, it's a wide belt.  Tim's worried that Chris is getting cliche, and that he's too focused on making it all about the belt.  I don't know wtf is up with the minty color Chris is using for the top.  Irina interviews that Chris's outfit is looking Amish.  She's not wrong!  Tim warns Carol that her dress looks too ordinary; she needs to set it apart from dresses you can buy anywhere.  Nicolas is using this gross gray menswear fabric for a pair of pants, and some white fabric for a top.  Logan needs to ensure that his look is cohesive.  Irina's doing some lovely pants with a camel-colored sweater; Tim is concerned about the gigantic cowl.  Nicolas isn't impressed with the borderline film-costume look to Irina's outfit, and says that's not his thing.  Wait, I thought he made film costumes?  Confusion at Chez Boogie.

The models come in.  Gordana's wigging out because she doesn't have the dress completed enough to fit it on the model.  Nicolas, similarly, doesn't have time to drape his top on Kojii.  Logan's pants don't fit.  Irina interviews snarkily about the lack of creativity amongst the other designers.  Here's the thing, Princess:  you're not wrong, but please, include yourself in that statement, because what you are making is not that creative.  Nicolas is struggling with draping his jersey fabric, which he never worked with before.  Seriously?  Chris is making this really crappy-looking dress, and Althea interviews that she doesn't know how Chris will send that garment out and not get sent home for it.  Me neither, Althea.  Chris looks at his outfit, realizes that the skirt is totally farmer, and chops off 20 inches.

Nicolas interviews that of course they all hope the other ones will "choke," but that they're a really good group and he doesn't really want anyone to go home.  Aww, I'm kind of starting to like this guy.  He'll probably get sent home now.

Next day: frenetic as usual!  Scrambling.  L'Oreal, Tresemme, Macy's wall, blah blah.  Let's get to the runway!

NINA AND KORS!  Yaaaay!  The old team is back together.  The guest judge this week is Milla Jovovich, who I always think sounds weird because I keep expecting her to talk like Leeloo but instead she sounds like she just had some bong hits.  Let's start the show!

We start with another basic sporty came-from-his-own-closet look from Logan:

 

All photos courtesy of Lifetime.com

Okay, okay, this wasn't bad.  The jeans fit beautifully, but I generally hate white jeans.  The fit at the waist in back is a little funky, as is the workmanship of the trim of the tank, but I can't really bag on this too much.  It doesn't really say "Hollywood" to me, though.  It's just sort of... okay.

Can I just say how tired I am of seeing this silhouette from Althea?

This is the umpteenth time she has made this look.  V-top?  Scoop-necked shell? Check. High, thin belt?  Check.  Very short bottom?  Check.  The only real difference is the shorts, and they're not very flattering from the back.  The top also looks really shoddy from the back.  I don't dislike Althea's aesthetic overall, but we at Chez Boogie are getting mighty bored with this.  Is this St. Tropez?  I don't actually know, and I'm so bored that I don't care.

Feather Boy, Feather Boy, Feather Boy... With Greece as his inspiration, he created a beautiful wrapped-fabric top, and then...

Why, Nicolas, why did you put it with those gawdawful pants??  They had an insane crotch, were way too tight, and just didn't go at all.  Such a freaking shame.  A swishy skirt or even shorts with sandals would have been perfect.  Even skirting cliches would have been better than this. (Oh, yikes - no pun intended.)

Here's another example of a decent designer boring us:

 

It's a nice enough maxi-dress, if a bit too long for a casual dress,  and it's an appropriate result for a Palm Beach-inspired dress, but it's nothing we haven't seen a hundred times before.  I do love the print on the fabric.  The twisted details were a better idea than reality - in the back, the straps came out too thick/ropey looking, losing their elegance.

This is the garment that deserved the auf, in my humble, but correct, opinion:

Chris, are you kidding us with this?  Yes, it was a good idea to chop off the Little House on the Prairie skirt into something more modern and fun, but now the lining is showing in the back.  That top is something I could make, and I don't know how to sew.  And the belt... I know he was proud of it and the judges like it, and he spent a lot of time on it, but I think it looks like a costume accessory from the set of Conan the Barbarian or something.  I know the producers want to keep Chris because he's a young upstart and very nice and cute, but meh... his work just hasn't been that appealing overall.  I want this kid to succeed like crazy, because he does have a lot of ideas and he's simply a really nice guy.  But this is crap.  And says nothing "Santa Fe."

Last week, I had to humbly admit that I really liked Nicolas' dress.  This week, I must similarly confess to liking Irina's look, for Aspen:

I really dislike that type of fur look, but it was appropriate.  The cowl on the sweater was pretty much 80's retro, but I love it.  A couple of issues: the sleeve length is weird, the sweater's not that flattering around the butt, and WTF is with the cut-out back?  It looks like she got into a fight and got her sweater ripped, or got attacked by a bear, or something.  That's the only thing I really hate, though. The pants were beautifully sleek and well-fitted. This is my favorite look so far from Irina.

This was lush and beautiful and a definite contender for the win:

Gordana is *back*, bitches!  I love this dress, and I especially love that she created a detachable necklace as the focal point.  New York high-style is about simplicity and elegance (sometimes, the socialite dress code is positively dull) and this fits right in.  I'm sort of undecided about the curving detailing - it would almost be better if they weren't there; at the same time, though, they're really flattering.  This dress had a couple of issues - I'm not enthralled with how the raised detailing meets in the back, and I dunno what is going on with the fit around the model's butt - but overall, this is beautiful.  Now, Gordana, you just have to stop talking down your own work on the runway:  you're freaking great, so just be confident!

Althea is deemed safe, leaving Chris, Gordana, Carol, Nicolas, Logan, and Irina on the runway.

It's roundly decided that Irina's character does not ski.  Kors likes the cutout back of the sweater.  I don't get it, but whatever.  The rest of the outfit is really well-done.  Chris tries to explain his outfit, but the judges, of course, aren't buying this unwearable costume.  Milla mentions that the belt has "charm."  Ruh-roh!  The judges like the print of Carol's dress.  Milla loves it and calls it "at-home glamor."  It is really wearable.  Nina likes the twisty detail but I still think it looks too big and messy.  Kors points out how subtle the patterning is for a Palm Beach look, which is a plus, and also that it's versatile - at that length, not really.

The judges hate Nicolas's look.  Nina asks, "Where is the fantasy?  Why would I want to... spend my money on this?"  Heidi doesn't like the very tight bodice with the very loose sleeves.  Michael exclaims, "You got the wrong Greece."  Ouch!  The pants are just so awful-looking and poorly-fitted.  Milla likes the top and wishes that he had done a dress.  Gordana talks down the simplicity of her dress, calling it "not a great dress," which isn't necessary - the dress is great.  Milla wishes it were a little simpler, but Gordana thought it was too simple without any detailing on it.  Logan was going for a Lindsay Lohan or May Kate kind of look, but Nina points out that the styling is inadequate.  Now that I'm getting a chance to look at it, the vest is awesome, actually.  They all seem to think the look is not innovative enough and kind of boring.  Michael calls Logan's look, "clothes, not fashion."  Good way to put it!

Discussion time!  Irina's look was luxe, though the color was a bit dull.  They like that Gordana's necklace was detachable and the dress was sophisticated, though she needs to be more confident.  Carol's look was definitely Palm Beach, with nice fabric.  On the bottom rung:  Chris's outfit was all wrong (Heidi calls it "unwearable" and "ugly" - ouch!).  Nicolas killed his look with those pants.  Logan's look was way too ordinary - Heidi doesn't mind it, and Milla points out that it'd be great if the show were called "Project 'I Don't Mind It," but that people in Hollywood are doing some incredibly innovative, envelope-pushing things, and this isn't that.

The designers are brought back out.  Carol is in.  Irina is the winner!  Okay, I can get behind that.  Gordana is in.  Logan scrapes by, leaving Chris and Nicolas on the runway. Oh wow, are they going to send Chris home?  Well, frell me, they're letting Chris stay and sending Nicolas home!

This is actually kind of a shock.  I haven't been a big fan of Nicolas, but of course he started being kind of cool in the last two eps, so now he has to go.  His look didn't say "Greece," but neither did Chris's look say "Santa Fe."  Nicolas had a very cool top; Chris had a totally unwearable outfit.  And Chris has been in the bottom a lot lately.  Ugh, another episode of PR gives me the sads.  Will it ever end?  Ah well, off goes Nicolas to make Ice Queen costumes and hopefully to wash his hair.  Actually, he's thinking of taking a break and moving to the UK or Europe (he makes a crack about becoming a sheep herder -- hey, hook up with Gordana; give her a sheep and she'll make you a sweater, remember?).  Whichever it is, good luck!

Next week: Big scary messes, bizarreness, collar theft, horribleness!  Let's hope it's fun.  See you then!